Kangan is also considered the ‘farewell’ but is traditionally the day the couple removes the amulet tied around their wrists. The amulet is used to protect the bride and groom so that they can enter married life ‘void of any evils.’ The religious part of the whole thing is over and now it’s time to celebrate before beginning normal, married life. From what I’ve read this is often done separately by the bride and groom’s families but in Moh and Sharon’s case, the two families came together for a back yard party at Moh’s.
Since Moh and Krish’s time as children at the house, the back yard has changed quite a bit. From the kitchen, there’s a generous porch-landing with stairs leading down. And from the basement, you can step straight out to the yard itself. There are paving stones where there once was grass and a vegetable garden. And there’s a bar, a firepit, and lots of seating. A grand place for a party!
Front of the houseThe patio leading from the kitchenThe seating area, bar, and barbecue
Guests arrived steadily through the night. I helped with food preparation and serving in the kitchen. By now the family members were no longer strangers to me, although some still suspicious. Moh went to China Cottage to pick up appetiser dishes to begin the evening, and this was followed by the usual array of meat and vegetable curries and a table of desserts.
Activity in the basement kitchen and food tableAppetisers from China Cottage
Tulsi’s best friend and his wife are going to Barcelona in October and their visit overlaps mine by a few days so we made plans to meet. That should be fun!
People came and went. Some people arrived long after most had left. It was mostly the smaller family unit – the brothers, the nieces – Ariya and Annabelle, Naomi and Rana, and Tulsi and Karne sitting together, chatting and relaxing. We lit the firepit and dodged mosquitoes. Krish had bought Annabelle some gifts throughout the months and this was probably the time that reticent little girl tore down her barriers and bonded with her ‘chacha’ (uncle). We thought it might never happen. I’ll confess that the gifts Krish had bought for her weren’t my taste. I’d wondered what Annabelle would think of them – but I’d reckoned without him having a clue about his family’s personality. Every gift was a hit, every single one.
Sitting around the firepit late at night – Gop, Ariya, and Sharon
It was getting late and the remaining guests had eaten and drunk their fill. Everyone was invited to stay overnight and so we fell asleep with a house full.
Maticoor is a new word for me. Everything I’ve read refers to women – “Maticoor night is for ladies to get away.” It talks about drumming and dancing and letting your hair down, as well as the elaborate ceremony. However, it seems that the bride and the groom can each have their own Maticoor night and tonight was the night for Moh’s family to gather in his family home to perform the puja, while over at Sharon’s the same was happening with her family.
From the Sanskrit ‘Matti’ means earth and ‘kor’ means digging. I’ll copy the whole explanation at the end of the post so read it, if you want.
In the morning, the tablecloth steaming continued, followed by me assembling wedding programs as I watched several episodes of Bewitched!
When we arrived at the Maticoor, there were drummers at the entrance of the home. They played loudly and for a long time. This is called tassa drumming and it started again after the puja and again at the wedding, then once again at the reception where the bride’s drummers and groom’s drummers joined together. I dodged them a bit – drumming and tinnitus don’t mix too well – but I loved the energy of it.
There was the usual large gathering of Krish’s family inside the house. The puja would take place in a tent in the back garden. It was pouring with rain!
The pundit ties the raksha sutra around Moh’s wristProtective thread or raksha sutra
Women and girls feature heavily in the ceremony. Moh sat with his mother and an aunt also stood by to help. The pundit also had a woman helping him with the various items that were brought and taken away. The prayers and chanting were quite melodic, each verse ending in Swaha which means ‘Well said’ so similar to amen. So many things were coming and going, Moh or Karna handling them and seeming to be well instructed in what to do. I’m sure I’d forget! At some point some young girls (four, although they asked for five) came onto the stage area but I can’t quite remember what they did. As well, most of us sitting watching were also female, with just a few men here and there. This all remains a bit mysterious so I need to find out more! My take on it is that Moh was being blessed and purified for his wedding.
Krish and Moh’s mother sits with Moh inside the tent for the puja
I shouldn’t find it so hard to write about Toronto. I know it very well, even as it changes. Perhaps it’s the familiarity that stops me in my tracks.
But what is different…in Toronto?
So I’ve been lazy about blogging and perhaps the plan needs to be to see things differently. There’s always something new and interesting everywhere…if you look for it. I’ll do some catch ups with photos for a while until I get into the groove. There’s likely more to say than I imagine.
It’s a different look around here. The streets have smaller trees but during May, after a hard winter, the rain comes and the sun shines, and things get very lush and fairly wild. This to me is what Toronto in May is. I’m not sure how different this is from anywhere else but it’s certainly not Hackney.
The architecture in Little Italy and Little Portugal is…well…quaint! It veers between hideous, garish, practical, and pretty. I remarked it’s like a mini Garden District at times….all the verandahs and gingerbreading…the mix of styles could be disconcerting but it flies in the face of a city I’ve often called too homogeneous. What’s remarkable is how very close to the centre these streets are. Less than a couple of kilometres.
For me, nothing beats London for street art. Toronto likes a lot of script type art (Wikipedia reminds me that the writing style is the true graffiti and everything else is street art) but there are some gems if you keep looking.
There’s a huge foodie scene in Toronto but you have to know where to go. For me, it’s always the simple, hidden gems that I’ll come back for.
Very many years ago I got a temp job on Spadina Avenue at a tailoring factory. At lunch time, everyone stopped work and ate lunch on the factory floor. Someone gave me a taste of their sandwich (bun) one day, when I asked what they were eating. It was amazing. I thought about it for years but could never remember what it was or where to get it.
Then by accident, when my sister was living in Little Italy years later, she took me for a sandwich. And it was the same one! What was it? A ‘hot veal sandwich’ from San Francesco Foods, a tiny Italian grocery store that made sandwiches in the back room for the locals. A pounded veal cutlet is fried, dipped into tomato sauce with added peppers (as hot as you choose) and piled onto a Kaiser bun. And you have a Toronto institution. (You can also choose the eggplant, chicken, meatball, steak, or vegetarian options. For me, it’s always veal.
We once asked an Italian, my friend Esmeralda’s then boyfriend, if he’d ever heard of such a thing. He was horrified – that’s not Italian! No! But In Toronto, that is Italian.
San Francescio has become a slicker chain and I don’t like their sandwich any more. So this time Krish and I went to nearby California Sandwiches and shared their monstrous sandwich between us. It’s always with a Brio, which is the Toronto version of Chinotto – slightly less bitter, more sweet, but perfect with a spicy meat sandwich.
Little Italy has that distinctive Canadian-Italian touch, with its own community. It even has its own radio station, which has its own enormous annual picnic. Johnny Lombardi was a pioneer of multicultural broadcasting in Canada and his shadow looms over everything. And it’s a great place for a time warp. Maybe more about that later.
Statue of Johnny Lombardi, pretty much the King of Little Italy, for so many years (Amusing touch from Krish in his hand)Time warp in Little Italy
Toronto now has a Toronto sign. Try getting anywhere close to it with all the tourists and photographers, though. It’s in front of New Toronto City Hall (the old one is beside it, across the road);.The new City Hall was built in 1965 and is iconic for the city – also appearing twice in the Star Trek franchise so you may recognise it.
Nathan Phillips Square (City Hall) and the new Toronto sign
And about the cannabis culture. Now it’s legal, it’s lost its grass (haha) roots. So shiny. I can smell it everywhere. No one mentions it, no one thinks about it. And no one looks intoxicated.
Toronto is becoming denser and more populated, thanks to the mega new development everywhere. New condos are squeezed between older condos. I have no idea how this compares to London but it feels worse. The skyline is disappearing, parking lots are gone, small buildings are being razed and replaced by two, three, four towers.
Toronto The Good may be good (polite, measured, modest, orderly) but, despite its much quieter pride of place in the world, it’s trying to catch up in other ways than the condo culture and growing population reflects. It’s quietly proud. People like Drake have helped that.
Also helping is sports. This year the NBA team (Canada’s only basketball team) The Raptors have reached the finals and have won their first game. The city, as always, has come alive.
Canadian pride in a muralCanadian (Toronto) pride – reflecting the Raptors win
I’ve been much more conscious of Canadian pride and Toronto community spirit on this visit. People hang together, not standing apart. Perhaps this was always there but right now I do feel it.
I make no secret of the fact that Toronto disappoints me in many food (when it comes to shopping) arenas. There are lots of reasons for this, and the price point is probably the least of these….maybe. But we can talk about prices – sure we can! They’ve skyrocketed.
I do expect, after being away for a while, to find prices higher. However, this time the trajectory has alarmed me. I’d say that most things are about 50% higher than I found them in 2016. So the pork tenderloin i bought for $3.75 in Chinatown this week cost me about $2.25 when last I was here. Of course, this price is pretty fantastic, no doubt of that. However, to find lettuces at $2.99, cauliflower at $6.99, asparagus at $4, bread at $4-5, chips at $4 a pack – these things do alarm me.
However, I do have to eat so here’s a bit of a pictorial essay of my shopping experiences so far. There’s enough time to document more!
These shops at the North West corner of Spadina and Dundas are slated to go. No idea how long they have sat there but it looks really scruffy and neglected so far. New condos on their way?Abnormally quiet day outside the supermarket in Chinatown. Rain keeps the crowds away and there’s been a lot of it.Inside the Chinatown supermarket. I got a pork loin, some hot sauce, and some frozen shrimp and pork dumplings for dim sum. Oh, and these tomatoes (next photo)I don’t like buying the much-picked-over things in Chinatown but there were freshly placed, reasonably priced, and actually looked good. Tasted OK too!
I’m not fond of the readymade food in Toronto on the whole but there are certain things I can’t get elsewhere or they are ethnic foods that Toronto somehow does so very well.
I’ve missed this sort of readymade food – a variety of Portuguese snacks in Little Portugal – takes me back to Lisbon
Well, March is spectacularly blank. It’s not that nothing happened but it’s been a bit of a whirlwind and I’ve committed the sin of writing posts in my head instead of in here. Again. So I’ll start here and I’ll fill in some blanks retroactively if there’s too much for a page! Since it’s now April, I’d better get started.
Krish needed a new Canadian passport. The laws have changed and anyone who is a Canadian citizen must travel with the Canadian passport to enter Canada. We set off one day for Canada House but just two stops away from our destination, Krish realised he forgot his photos! My sense of humour prevailed and we went instead to have lunch and wander around Covent Garden.
Canada House with its prized place at Trafalgar Square
The following week back we went. Much more successful. Everything was dispatched and paid for and we were on our way. Word came just three weeks later that we could come pick it up.
When I was a child I loved Trafalgar Square. I still love the view from there. Admiralty Arch and then the view down to Westminster. The square, however, has become tiresome. Without the pigeons it’s lost its charm. They’ve pedestrianised the area closest to the National Gallery too and somehow instead of making it more accessible, it’s made the traffic terrible and the jugglers and sellers and increased crowd have given it a sleazy carnival feeling.
Looking up at the National Gallery from Trafalgar SquareLooking straight down to Westminster from Trafalgar SquareTowards St Martin’s in the Fields as the clouds gather. I miss the pigeons
It’s interesting, though, that children and youth still love to climb onto those lions and sometimes paddle in the fountains. They can’t miss the pigeons since they have never known them to be there.
When we picked up the passport, we thought it would be fun to walk along the river path to Pimlico and check out the area as we looked for lunch. Walking down Whitehall, I thought we’d see lots of protesters at Whitehall, Downing Street, and outside the Houses of Parliament but we really didn’t. It was surprisingly calm. Although I still can’t get used to the fact that Downing Street is now a gated fortress, there were only a few tourists lingering outside. With the Brexit date only a day away, I was quite astounded.
A rare sight – a Trafalgar Square lion with no riderLooking down to Westminster from Trafalgar Square
