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Spring sprung a leak

Sunday, 22 March, 2026

It’s one month since we moved in. The second bedroom is full of boxes waiting to be unpacked or put away. Until we have a longer-term commitment, we won’t be changing anything. We want to, and it’s a long list. For now things feel messy. On Friday after my hospital visit, I came upstairs, took a photo – it was my Spring Equinox set – and almost didn’t post it. Seriously messy. Seriously real.

Messy but real state of the world

It’s a little better when seen from the couch. Our TV had been so far away that it strained our eyes to look at it, so we moved it closer. I thought, hoped, the coffee table would be a temporary measure, but Krish is keen to keep it. I do hope that won’t be the case. The coffee table isn’t my style, but I suppose it’s serving a purpose right now, and it’s nice to have the TV for relaxing.

There was a rare treat this week. We unpacked one of the boxes from our shipping container. Everything has sat in storage since November 2022. I was beginning to think I would never see our belongings again, but we needed frying pans and it made sense to rescue our own. So pleased about this.


I have my quiet mornings waiting to work. It’s snowed on and off for ages now, like winter can’t bear to go. One morning, looking up from the table where I was setting up my laptop, I noticed the light, the snow, the pale blue of the sky and thought perhaps I might be in Scandinavia. Throughout the snowy days, the people opposite still need to smoke, even during b;ixxards. Nordic it might look out there, but still quintessentially Canadian.


Winter passes, and Spring is next. Speaking of Spring, it came in very, very wet. It continues that way. At least the rain isn’t freezing anymore. That’s the worst kind of winter weather.

Spring in Toronto is funny, anyway. One day snow, the next warm, then a blizzard and so on. They say Toronto has eleven seasons:

  • Winter: Cold, grey, and long.
  • Fool’s Spring: One 15°C day in March where everyone wears shorts, followed by immediate regret.
  • Second Winter: Snow returns right after you put your winter boots away.
  • Spring of Deception: It looks sunny, but the wind is biting.
  • Third Winter: A surprise April snowstorm.
  • The Pollening: Everything turns yellow, and everyone sneezes.
  • Actual Spring: Lasts approximately 3 days.
  • Summer: High temperatures, high humidity, and nonstop patio time.
  • False Fall: A nice, crisp day in September.
  • Second Summer: Hot weather returns, causing panic over air conditioning.
  • Actual Fall: Leaves turn brown, and construction season finally ends.

While this may seem silly, it’s remarkably true.

Crocuses are ready to bloom. They usually go into full flower only to be blown over and snowed under shortly afterwards
Downstairs, the restaurant comes alive Wednesday through Saturday. They were smoking something for dinner. I’m always curious what’s on the menu, the one I can’t really afford

My friend, Judy, had asked me if I was interested in one of the restaurants her gym friends had recommended. Of the two, she chose a Korean hotpot place not too far away. The bus was late picking me up, but I got there in good time. My only other hotpot experience had been a shared (with Robin) pot of both on a hotplate that kept it simmering. That time, we collected some ingredients and cooked them ourselves in the broth before drinking it. This was different. We collected a metal bowl and some tongs and then moved along a long counter filled with meats, fish, vegetables and noodles. A server helped us understand what each thing was.

I chose lamb rolls, a pork belly roll, shrimp, squid rings, enoki mushrooms, tofu, Shanghai bok choy, kelp shoots, and a Chinese doughnut (looking just like a mini Yorkshire pudding). At the counter, they weighed it – it came to around $13, less than expected – and I chose a broth. Mala with sesame. A slightly spicy choice and a good one. They brought the bowl to the table when everything was cooked, along with a drink. After the meal, we got a mini Yube soft-serve cone, a lovely ending to a delicious and comforting meal. I’ll go again and make some different choices.

My finished mala broth with all the ingredients – doughnut on the right. Yum

I’m lucky to have the WheelTrans option. It sometimes feels like I’m cheating, but, quite honestly,I don’t know if I’d go out much without it. They have buses, accessible taxis and regular taxis. On the day I met Judy,  it was a bus. The drivers are excellent and help you every step of the way. The downside is that they hold more people, so there are often pick-ups and drop-offs that turn short rides into excursions. Because of all the activity, along with crazy Toronto traffic and roadworks, they can be late. I stood outside in minus 13 just over a week ago, and I waited for 45 minutes. Not good, but how do I complain about this fantastic service, a first-class ride for the price of a bus ticket?

I also took another walk to Contra Cafe on an unusually mild day. There are some odd houses in this neighbourhood, and I’m reacquainting myself with them. There are some strange garden decorations, the art house, the rubbish house and the Greek house. I’ll have to reconnect and check them all out more closely when the weather warms up even more.




There are also some colourful utility boxes along the way. These are on Shaw Street.


Finally, at Contra Cafe, I had a chai latte. I like how they make it here, with a large tea bag and no sugar

I got inspired by the Hotpot, and I skipped the hospital cooking class that day. A friend shared a recipe from the class, and I made it at home. I ad-libbed a miso, carrot and ginger soup and added some shrimp instead of chicken. Enjoyable!

Miso ginger soup

And another insider’s treat with the next photo.

We don’t know if the Old Man is still there, but we were heartened to see some work being done in the next-door garden. Bring on planting season. We had so much fun watching it evolve last time

Friday Photos (20 March, Spring Equinox)

Front. Freezing rain turned to just rain
Side of the house
The back patio and next door garden
The oak tree is losing its brown leaves
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Where is spring? And the backlog

Friday, 13 March, 2026

The February blues inevitably become the March blahs. Spring should be around the corner, but it seldom feels like it in Toronto. Yet last week we had a sudden three-day taste of days to come. Temperatures climbed to as high as 18C, and all was right in the world.

I went for a knee assessment downtown on one of those days. The sky was blue, the air felt mild to warm, and everyone was smiling. At the small hospital I went to, Holland Centre, I had a déjà vu moment, and it took me a minute to figure out it reminded me of my GP practice in Hackney at Somerford Grove.

At any rate, what an excellent physiotherapist. I came home with the usual raft of papers, including exercises (which I have yet to start) and people to call. Today I must make a list. even if I can’t cross anything off it. “People” like it when I say nice things about Toronto (you know who you are) so this is something to make me smile about being here:

The Scotiabank at the corner of Wellesley and Yonge – gateway to ‘The Village’ (Gay area of Toronto). I do love the apparent acceptance of everyone here. The bank is close to the Holland Centre
The Holland Centre on Wellesley Street. See how blue the sky is!

This email from Denise sums it all up:
It’s starting to look like Spring. We still have the Christmas tree up for you and Krish;
HOW IS YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE TODAY???
Jesus, our emails are turning into medical files.
xxx

PLEASE invite me for Christmas. I’m ready! Today I took Friday photos, and everything looked like winter was over. Two hours later, it looks like Christmas again. The fast-falling snow is blanketing everything. I shall have to do a second set of Friday photos before the light fades.

Speaking of the medical report, I made it to my eye appointment last week. The first time since I had my cancer diagnosis and had to put everything on hold. It went well, although all my measurements had to be retaken. I’m good to go, but only after I get a special “oncology eye test” at Princess Margaret Hospital. I don’t want to know what that entails, but do it I must, when I hear from them. I also had built in time after my long appointment to meet Robin for lunch. After a failed attempt at a ramen place (don’t ask, but autism can really suck), we headed down to find tamales in Kensington Market only to find that they were sold only on a weekend – boo. So we each had an empanada – cheesy!  I forgot to take photos of the indoor food market (mostly Mexican/South American), but I did take photos of the upper part of Augusta Avenue. Kensington Market is a 70s throwback every time.

Wanda’s sells sweet fruit and cream pies. Originally, I planned to go here, but all plans can change. Next time
The cannabis shops are thinning out a bit these days – this neighbourhood is down to 6. Mushrooms are popping up (yeah, I know…)
Near College Street, this balcony is always vibrant. Is that an effigy?
Yarnbombing. Of course.
It’s the neighbourhood iconic wall art. It’s been there for years
A part of the Kensington Market sign. Is it supposed to be bicycle chain links? The wall art behind makes me cringe, but Toronto lacks finesse generally with street art, and you have to dig hard for the gems
Chinatown and Kensington Market share borders, Instead of a Chinatown gate, Toronto has raised art installations symbolising something or other. Must research!
One of the Young (Emmanuel) Jarus murals. He has several in Toronto, and it would be worth tracking down all the existing ones here. Young Jarus was born in 1992 in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada and has artwork throughout the world now
Approaching Trinity College from Queens Park Crescent by taxi

This will be another busy medical year with all the backlog. It would be painful to list it all, but hopefully it’s all worth it. On the other hand, I’m looking ahead. I’ve started to plan a “walk” (a misnomer, really, but a way to get those 3,000 steps in that they’re recommending for my rehabilitation), which will certainly include not only almond croissants for my brother but a revisit to Trinity College, which I passed on my way back from the Holland Centre. In this long Toronto winter, when snow and cold have been brutal at times, it’s good to have warmer dreams.

I’m not ready to move about the neighbourhood yet. It’s been too snowy and icy and cold. Last Friday was my birthday, though. I braved it out to the local coffee shop, Contra. To motivate myself, I ordered a 2good2go surprise bag – I needed to be there between 4:30-5 to pick it up, so I showed up around 4:13 and ordered a mocha latte. Got to say it was the most delicious one I’ve had anywhere. Very decadent and chocolatey. Usually, I order the chai latte, which I like because it’s made with loose tea and no sugar. I mentioned to the woman at the counter that it was my birthday, and when I got home, there was a bag that said Happy Birthday. It was a pain au chocolat. Chocolate for my birthday, yes please.

Approaching Contra Cafe on Shaw Street
Inside Contra Cafe. It has a quiet vibe
Utility box in full bloom
House along the way
Contra Cafe surprise bag unpacked – Ham and cheese croissant, cheese and onion quiche, Pain au chocolat, and an almond and chocolate slice
Birthday dinner. Yes, I made a birthday wish with that candle:

And now the Friday photos for 6 and 13 March

From the side window. Hate how the snow gets so dirty. March 6
From the front window. March 6
The oak tree. March 6
The back. March 6. The snow is shrinking. In another month or so, preparations will begin to plant if the Old Man is still there
The oak tree. March 13
The side. March 13 morning
The back. March 13 morning
The front. March 13 morning
The front at noon March 13 when it started to snow
The front 4 pm March 13. Back to the snow

 

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Moved – Back to the future

Saturday, 28 February, 2026

Business first: There’s an update on Live! if you’re following my breast cancer journey.

Moving is a strenuous thing. It taxes your body, your brain and your emotions. I didn’t have to do much physical work, but one week later, I am not back to my pre-move state of mind or body. I’m waiting for that feeling to pass, while grappling with all the clinging thoughts about ‘will i ever’ and ‘can I ever’ Probably yes, I will and can, but there are moments…There’s an overlap here with the BCJ, but someone in my group, when I asked if I’ve regressed, answered ‘recovery isn’t linear.’ Well stated.

The chaos of moving is slowly being tamed

The new place is also an old place, so there’s a ‘fitting back in’ feeling. There’s no strangeness to very much. It’s all familiar if slightly faded. There aren’t that many boxes and bags to unpack now, but where is my heating pad? I must have developed an addiction to getting up on any cold morning to that lovely heat source. This space is large, and down the long staircase to the outside is a glass door that lets in light but also the cold. And it’s been a very cold and snowy winter. We’re still working on how to keep the temperature pleasant. We had never been here in a cold month before. I imagine a little electric fire, the one I grew up with. To imagine a roaring fireplace would make me too sad. (Going to fill my hot water bottle now.)

Joy looks a little different here
Long view from the couch
View from the couch. The grey days are receding

Our space expanded from toytown to mansion proportions – well, not quite, but it feels like it. I’ve filled closets and drawers, and there’s still space. It feels weird to walk across two or three metres of wooden flooring to grab the salt – I’ve started creating an island on the island, where such things can sit within reach. Interestingly, the pantry filled up quickly. Where on earth did we put it all before (Answer – in boxes packed into a spare wardrobe). The luxury of space.

Pantry
How can our pantry be this full already? The bigger question is where did we put it all before? i

The snow and ice outside, the body pain and fatigue is keepign me indoors, but I can see ‘out there’ out there. Krish stands at the kitchen window looking out, moan-wailing ‘dead zone.’ He says the man opposite (occasionally joined by a woman) stands outside smoking in the cold, ‘waiting to die.’ Ouch, I think. Thanks, I say.

The corner. The house in the dead zone.

However, I was here in the Spring and Summer before, and I think about the flower-filled walks and hope to do them again. Only three months to go. There’s a coffee shop one block over and two up. It’s quiet there, maybe too quiet, but it’s ‘out.’ The restaurant downstairs is a reminder we’re not alone. It’s winter so they’re eating inside. Sunday through Tuesday, all is quiet. On Wednesday morning staff show up. They’re a friendly, chatty bunch, getting on with the preparation for the restaurant opening days ahead The bread person shows up with five or six sourdough loaves, placed on a metal shelf outside. People start arriving to eat, and music and chatter drift up through our floorboards. It’s not loud or rowdy, but like a cocktail party being held by neighbours. By 10pm there’s close to silence again except for the quiet clanking of cleaning up. I know that on Saturday night the staff sit down and eat and drink together. That can get noisier, and tonight we’ll find out. In the warmer months, the woodfire lights up, and everything moves outdoors to the back. It seems to bustle more. As I told someone yesterday, It can feel like I’m in the middle of a Bear episode. I do love the energy.

This is the last day of February, 2026. The world is out there, some of it more out there than others. Enough said. (Or not?)

I won’t say that we are happy here in Toronto. I will say that it’s brought its blessings. It feels stable compared to other places right now. It’s safe, polite, ‘nice,’ of course, the government is reasonable, people live somewhat without hate – debatable, always. Nice, safe, and reasonable can also feel dull. A friend told me, bloom where you’re planted, and it’s a bit harder to do that during the Toronto hibernation phase. Things tone down. Krish was rhapsodises yesterday about what he would eat if he were in the UK – go to Ambala almost every day for samosas, drink an Aspall at least once a week, buy chocolate eclairs a few times a week, gorge on sticky toffee pudding with cream, have a plate with cheese, pork pie and picallili, walk along the street with some chips and cod bites, eat LAMB. I could only smile. Here, there are smiles rather than excitement, that’s for sure. I have a couple of weeks of appointments coming up. I won’t feel like doing much else, but most of the year is ahead, so I’ll seek out some adventure, no matter how subdued.

I’m going to do Friday photos. Shots from the window to see the season changing. I’ll start here with the ones from yesterday.

From the front window. Beneath here the bus arrives, announcing the destination. We can’t hear much with the window closed but spring is coming
The oak tree at the window. It will be fun to watch itransform. It will fill with chirping birds and plump acorns
The side entrance. In the warmer months, we’ll see diners down here. Meanwhile, it’s just one of our entrances
Back garden with snow
On the left, the awning over the back garden dining area. They put in that awning the last time we were here. On the right, the garden next door. It was really fun watching the neighbour tend to his garden every day. We hope he is still there.
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Snow days

 

Saturday, 31 January, 2025

There’s a LIVE update to my Breast Cancer journey here *This is how I’ll handle updates to my Live, putting them at the top of any new publications. If you love me that much (awww) you can bookmark that page and visit it every few weeks if you see nothing here. This feels like a vanity post. No excuses, although I’m longing to make a few.

(That’s that done.)

We had a lot of snow. The most recorded. That isn’t to say there weren’t larger, deeper snowfalls before, but we didn’t record them back then. Things shut down. I didn’t hear any traffic- none! Schools, universities, and community centres closed their doors. Some of the bus routes couldn’t run – too hilly –  or were diverted. Sections of the subway system that were above ground just stopped.  Our north-south highway, the Don Valley Parkway (DVP) wasn’t accessible. We’re used to it, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that everything carries on as normal. There’s a modestly grumbling, politely Canadian. acceptance and that’s it.

The snow kept me indoors and, when I did go out, it was ‘interesting.’ Not easy to get through the snow with a walker, even when paths had been dug through the deepest areas. I had definitely been feeling housebound and fidgety, so it was worth the trip.

I got as far as Longo’s, the local supermarket. We managed by buying markdowns in the otherwise pricey store. It’s a habit we acquired in the early London days when we had little money, heading straight for the ‘on offer’ stickers and often amassing really great buys at very low prices. It’s not as much fun here, the reductions not nearly as generous, the selection not as ‘exotic,’ but we still do it. At Longo’s I check the ready meals first (rarely find anything) then head to the meat counter for anything best by today or tomorrow, then off to the bakery mark-downs. That’s almost a story of its own, so I won’t. Food shopping is very expensive in Toronto and we’ve found our pattern to survive it and try not to think too hard about the adventure which is M&S Food Hall shopping. To be fair, we now think longingly about Tesco, Sainsburys, Waitrose, Morrisons, and yes, Co-Op. (We never had an Asda close by, or we might have considered it.)  I did appreciate them when I was in London, but of course would sometimes weary of them, and now they’ve moved into the nostalgia pile. Last week, trying to watch Whitechapel (we didn’t last) the scene shifted to the Turkish store on Ridley Road. We recognised it right away. Our jaws dropped as we remembered the shelves full of treasures.

The little piece of cambazola was $10. We have had it once or twice, at someone else’s house, and can’t figure out why it lacks flavour if it’s the same as we had in London. Krish has pointed out that unpasteurised milk can’t be sold here, and that may be part of why there really isn’t any ‘stinky’ cheese.  Or is it the travel time, etc? It took us a couple of years to discover a cheddar worth eating so the search for another variety that we can enjoy continues.

Piece of soft cheese 3.5x5cn at how much? (It’s around $7. Welcome to Canada.

It made for lots of snowmageddon posts. It always does when it really snows. I imagine all those souls in the snowier parts laughing at us, pretty much the way we laugh at the UK when they come to a standstill with what we’d consider ‘nothing.’ It’s all what you’re used to and set up for, of course. This isn’t Iqualuit and the UK isn’t Toronto, let alone Montreal, Edmonton or Winnipeg (it’s much worse there).  We sort of have fun with it even if we aren’t the sporty type who owns snowshoes, skis or skates. We curse and feel weirdly a little proud and heroic.  I wasn’t on public transport to hear the gossip, but the WheelTrans drivers had a few stories.

There seemed to be ‘nothing’ on our streaming services. We watched what we could. We just finished Black Bird. Powerful stuff that gave me one sleepless night and a creepy feeling of finding such empathy for the serial killer at the centre of the story. It was hard to sleep that first night.

The light in the winter can make everything golden
After days and days of pearly white cloud cover and grey days that made me sleepy, the sky turned blue
Back again to what I call Hospital Row in Toronto. Discovery District is its actual name. I was there to talk about my knee and pick up medication. It will be a good day when I’m not there anymore. A visit to get my knee examined and pick up some medication

After the hospital, I had them drop me at Churrasqueira do Sardinha – Portuguese chicken shop just to buy some potatoes and bread. It felt decadent, like I was back to normal. Then I planned to get a streetcar over to the next major street, but the wait was too long. I walked. The cold was incredible, and even though I didn’t have far to go (400m) I had to stop halfway for a hot drink. When I got to the store I needed to visit to pick up my blackening spices, it was gated and closed for ‘vacation.’ Oh no!  I’d have to come back another day and pray the set-aside spices were still there. My ride home wasn’t for at least an hour, and it was freezing. I looked around for somewhere warm to wait and decided it would have to be where I could buy a quick snack. So there I was in a burger place (A&W) with a bag of French fries and a coffee. OK, I was seduced by the Pret name. $8.99 for this. I noticed a sign in the window that promised a burger, fries and a large soft drink for the same price. Duped. The coffee wasn’t good. I saw my ride arriving across the street, and I dumped everything and hurried towards it.  Temperatures were heading lower, the lowest so far, minus 29. The only way is up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And it’s a new year

Wednesday, 7 January, 2026

Have you been catching yourself typing 2025? I don’t think I have yet but… Anyway here it is another new year. I keep thinking back to 2020 where I reasoned (and prayed) that 20/20 was perfect vision so I was ready for a good one. Instead, it was the beginning of a downslide. Hasn’t stopped yet. Hope is eternal, right?

I’ve been writing up my Cancer Journey stuff but not ready to publish anything. As usual, lots of writing in my head and difficulty getting photos to cooperate. My eyesight is terrible and I haven’t yet got back to scheduling my eye surgery. Waiting for that call. And, honestly, 2025 was the Year of Waiting. It’s just a spillover. I’m very reluctant to post without my photos. They remind me of what to say and add context. Taking photos is still a big deal for me, a great companion when I’m out, and I find myself wishing I’d been documenting more of my life. The past is done with. On to the future and enjoying the present as much as I can with all the nonsense I’ve been going through. The truth is I’m far from feeling well and hoping that as time passes, I’ll feel more myself — better! Meanwhile, welcome to my melancholia – no excuses.

Christmas was quiet. I had many quiet Christmases in London but then everything seemed serene and pretty. I got used to having no one around and having no transport to go anywhere. We’d stock up on M&S treat-like foods and turn on all the lights, candles everywhere, snug if alone. There are family around now but I can’t decorate in the same way (not yet) and we don’t see anyone anyway. On the 27th there was the usual family get together. Krish had asked not to stay too long then asked to delay our departure so that was nice. There was plenty of food at my niece’s. Everyone was smiling. It was nice and I’d like more.

I wanted to make little gingerbread houses but didn’t want to go the graham cracker route again. Ikea, for the second year, let me down on mini house kits. Instead they had tree kits. I bought two boxes meaning to assemble four sets as gifts. Wrong! My energy level just wasn’t there, my icing skills – as poor as they are – were even worse than usual. I soldiered on. I struggled with the decorations but in the end made a decision to finish just one set for now. They could fight over it – or fight because no one would want it. However, the finished result was OK – I mean in a Gaudi-esque way. I have three sets left to finish and suspect they will be a project for next year.


My decorations were all I could manage this year. A little cheering up for sure but not at previous levels! The first photo is from Hackney Christmases — my Christmas advent treehouse from Roger LaBorde. I wanted to buy one for my brother but only the small non-advent one. I really want to unpack my things…

The next picutre is this year. We miss the whimsy of what we were used to but it will come back. Hopefully this Christmas. We each have a toy that isn’t packed and that’s the best of us.

Truth told, the colours of winter now are grey and white. (I read that on Instagram!) I haven’t seen much in the way of decoration anywhere. I would have explored had I had the energy. As well, it’s been a very snowy winter so far. Not an easy slog. The renamed Dundas (now Sankofa* Square had a small Christmas market. I swung by after a hospital visit. It wasn’t open yet.

Talking of hospitals, some of it is actually fun. Every third Thursday at Toronto General, they run a wellness kitchen. It’s set up like a TV show. The chef, Jeremy, makes three courses of healthy and simple meals and at the end we get to sample it. A few of the recipes are regulars for us now. You can watch it yourself at home – recorded or live on the third Thursday at noon EST. Maybe you’ll see me there. Pictured is Jeremy, and the Moroccan style chickpea stew I made at home.

We have to move soon. We like it here. More than like it. I hope we can find something soon and that it’s not far away, if not right here in the building. Every night I watch the windows opposite. It’s a guilty pleasure. I can’t see into the places, my eyesight isn’t that good, but I do think about the individual stories that are going on every day behind those windows.

Meanwhile, it continues snowy and cold. At night in the lights of the stadium opposite we watch the rain or snow falling thick and fast. These are good days for winter naps.

 

Are we a city of idiots, hibernating in the Toronto way of things?

I hope your Christmas was merry and your new year will be splendid, all year long.