Not focussed…YET

Wednesday, 12 August, 2026

Today is a sit-at-the-laptop day so a good one to get started on the latest. Why the title? Well, I work on a mental health charity site (ssshhh, those who know who I mean). As part of our work, the charity gives us 45-minute monthly meetings where we discuss our mental health. Yes, the work can be emotionally challenging. We chat and share concerns and triumphs, but we also get a mini lesson on mental wellness. This comes from one. Whatever you think you are not getting done or right, say it but add the word yet.

I had my eye surgery follow-up yesterday. All is well. My right eye (the first) is noticeably less focussed than my left. My laconic surgeon assured me that this was normal and that in a month I could get glasses to correct my distance vision. Looking forward to that. I’m really good at seeing both sides of things. I can see my laptop screen and read most things – maybe I need a weak pair of reading glasses for that very tiny stuff too – but I can now see other things. What things? My wrinkles! And, wow, soft focus was good for one thing – I thought I was more attractive than this. Why did no one tell me? My vanity is in overload, so my next job is getting over it. I can’t get over it…YET.

Inert but annoying tools in the eye surgeon’s office

After the visit, I thought I might see Robin and send a package back to its sender. It was hot as I wandered through Kensington Market, which ends/begins at College Street where the surgeon was. I need basil. Kensington Market is a hippy throwback. It’s full of vintage clothing stores, street art, and eclectic places to eat. I’ve walked through here so many times over so many years and seen the changes.

The land was first purchased by George Taylor Denison (for whom an area street is named) and a home was built for him in 1815. The Denison estate was subdivided in the 1850s, and thirty years later, houses were built for the Irish and Scottish immigrant labourers coming to Toronto. The housing, some of which still stands, was built in the style of Victorian architecture row houses. (Must check that out, on Wales Street). That style persists. After the Irish and Scottish, other immigrant populations followed in waves. In the early twentieth century came Eastern European Jewish immigrants and some Italians, and like most immigrant areas, there was dense population and poverty. As the immigrants thrived, they moved within the area but to more space, better housing conditions, and opportunities to create storefront businesses. The market was born. The wider area was packed with tailors, furriers and bakers. There were 60,000 Jews by the 1920s and 1930s and over 30 local synagogues. When I arrived in Toronto and eventually found the area where I lived in the early 70s for a while, the area was still considered a Jewish market. When I arrived to live there briefly, the Jewish population dominated. They lived in the houses east of Spadina and above the stores in spacious apartments. Stores along Spadina and into the market were full of the immigrants’ preferred goods, jobbers, and in the market Eastern European food. I remember the crates of live chickens and the bustle of people buying their weekly food. In those days Saturdays had open air stalls on the street, only seen here now on special days in the warmer weather. The Jews moved out to the suburbs, and the immigrants from the Azores moved in and spread farther west, creating Little Portugal along Dundas Street West. They were followed by those from the Caribbean and East Asia. This was now an even more incredibly diverse community. During the Vietnam War, the American ‘draft dodgers’ and political objectors had arrived in Toronto, settling here and further east. The market took on and has pretty much maintained its hippy, bohemian air. The East Asians, particularly the Chinese, gradually took over the main street of Spadina Avenue, which borders Kensington Market and created a new Chinatown, the older one being closer to Yonge Street – the centre of Toronto. Then came even more immigrants, from Central America, Somalia, Ethiopia, Sudan, Iran, Vietnam, Chile and other global trouble spots. In the market, the choice of food and goods was, and remains, beyond eclectic. While the offerings in the market are ethnically diverse, the Latin Americans have a very strong presence, especially on Augusta Avenue. Enough tacos to build another CN Tower. Confession: all those immigrant waves might be slightly mixed up/out of order, there were so many, but I did my best. It’s eclectic!

The market’s architectural style hasn’t changed much. In the 60s the community escaped a plan to tear down the Victorian houses and replace them with modern apartment buildings, but there are a few higher-rise modern loft-style buildings at the edges of the market area.

Typical market Victorian style house


The Latin American and Mexican population of Toronto can buy all their home favourites in Kensington Market, especially on Augusta Avenue
Millions of pupusas have been eaten here. This store is a mainstay
Cheese Magic. A pricier cheese boutique and one store that’s hung on longer than most
The old, the new, and some cheap cigarettes (perhaps’Reservation cigarettes’ or ‘native smokes.’) I’m not sure. there are heavy rules involved, and they’re the sort of thing vendors hide under the counter.
Ontario peach season is here. My favourite pie this side of the Atlantic. No, I haven’t had any this year. Worth breaking the diet for? Hmm

There’s been gentrification here. No space to write about all the changes, but notably, there’s now one butcher remaining and one fish shop, where before there were at least three of each. The butcher of yesterday was a bustling and low-priced Eastern European meat market. The counters were piled high with smoked sausages, and ham hocks, and the smell of smoked and fresh meat hung in the air. For $2 I could buy a hock and make meals that stretched over two or three days. Those days are gone. The butcher now has much higher priced, fancier, fare and I can’t smell a thing.

In this spot there was a cheap butcher until this one took over. Not Cheap, Not At All
Sanagan’s has a British butcher, so they make these things. I’ve tried them all and 😕👎🏼

There could be chapters on Kensington Market (future focus!), but I needed to move on, if only to find shade. At the only remaining greengrocers (of the original) half dozen, I needed to buy basil, only to remember that the entryway stairs were going to be a problem. I’d already abandoned the idea of buying a samosa in the Indian restaurant due to the entry stairs. Samosa and chai is such a nice breakfast. Not today. I found the side entrance (no stairs) where a Chinese-speaking lady cleared a space for me and carried my walker up to the level where I could find the basil. I found it and some nice arugula (nothing like the UK rocket – different species here), paid, and then the same lady helped me down and out to the street. Yay for kindness. No photos of the store, that’s a miss.

Thwarted by the samosa and chai miss, I thought some dim sum might work instead. There was a place near the shop I wanted to visit, so I headed down to Dundas Street and over to Spadina Avenue. I found street and van art along the way. The market has a lot, no favourites here. I miss seeing good street art everywhere.

Tripping

It was such a hot day on Kensington Avenue. I love that they’re sweeping – gave me Italy vibes
Chinatown main intersection. By now I was wilting. Where the Rexall is was once a burlesque theatre

Dim sum was calling and I arrived to find another high step to get into the bakery. Ha. I made it in and ordered carefully. This is cash only and I had just $10. My order of chive and shrimp dumpling and a bottle of water came to $9.30. Just made it. Dim sum cost double of when I lived here with Robin, in an alley off Chinatown. While I was eating I remembered that the parcel return depot also had four steps. That’s that then. Robin called to say he couldn’t meet me, no shock, and I could hear he was in the shop almost next door to the parcel return. I was mid-dumpling and cool rest break, so I didn’t ask him to help. Another day. Instead I went to the Chinese supermarket that Robin’s apartment overlooks and bought what I needed.

Close to my dim sum goals in Chinatown

My shrimp and chive dumplings – very clean and clear
Toronto loves a Chinese bakery. Many cheap ‘treats’ but a far cry today from the 3 for a dollar offerings of yesterday
Purchases – newly favourite brand of fresh kimchim and I can never resist the ‘seafood’ mushrooms – Bunapi-shimeji

I’d visited the drugstore a bit earlier in the week. With my rides back from Chinatown and then this little visit, I conquered the TTC three times this week. Go me!

Posters you want to eat. I saw a UK TikTok with Guinness gravy a few days ago – want! As for ice cream cake, I may have to break my diet and try – which one?
A cool break after shopping at the Portuguese store. Field Trip wins again – a macchiato and a cheddar and chive scone. Bring back the Zaatar but save me from my love of a good scone
The Paradise theatre on Bloor Street. All the offbeat content you want. This ties into my Kensington Market tour, since I associate these rep cinemas with hippy days in Toronto. That vibe prevails. Longer story here for another time
My pharmacy has that old-fashioned Englishy feel but I miss that unique smell of Boots Chemists (antiseptic and ointments?)
Ethiopian convenience store near the station. All the gold-plated stuff you desire….(listening, Mr President?)
Sunk! Someone put temptation a few hundred metres away from me, right opposite the station. Hide my eyes
Just in front of the subway station entrance. Noticed it for the first time (new vision?)
The subway handicap entrance and I are old friends now
Silently ranting about the TTC bus’s lack of space for strollers and such. No one can pass

Finally, I did a baked beans test this week. John had brought a UK tin with him, and we never did do the comparison. Time to do it. Thoughts – the Canadian beans had a slightly deeper spiced flavour and weren’t as saucy. They might have been a tiny bit sweeter, although the label puts them as equal for sugar content. For me, the UK version wins, but ask me again tomorrow. It was a narrow margin. Need to get the US version to see how it fares.

Heinz beans comparison and taste test. UK on the left, Canada on the right

I did take photos of  the old man’s garden but won’t include them. For two days now, a helper has been watering and weeding. Those vines are climbing even higher. If I had wings or better legs or whatever, I’d scale that fence at night and become a veggie burglar.

Not ready…YET.

Ticking the ennui boxes

Sunday, 26 July, 2026 to
Sunday, 9 August, 2026

This blog is going to span a bunch of days with not much going on, but photos were being stubborn and I wasn’t able to upload all of a sudden. Life!

This coming Tuesday is my son’s birthday. Robin will be 46, and that’s surprising. Somehow. He was born on a day with record rainfall. We couldn’t see across the road; the rain was so heavy, and the air seemed green.  When I was teaching childbirth preparation to couples and later to teachers, I learned about a study where older women were interviewed about their children’s births. Interestingly, even decades later and with other memories getting fainter, these women were able to tell the stories of the labour and birth of each child. Astonishing, but that’s how strong an impact. However, I won’t use this space to describe mine beyond saying it was a bit complicated, I was too isolated, and I was completely overwhelmed by the fact that I was doing this aided by what I saw as the legion of sisters who had gone before. Robin was tall, ‘almost all of it lungs,’ they told me, with a rather shocking head circumference. Still true, judging by every hat seller’s reaction. His fat red cheeks named him for me right then, minutes after birth.

I hope to see Robin on Monday. Last Monday I had lunch with teacher friends I’ve known for decades – they were keen, so was I. On Tuesday I had dinner with my niece – we were looking forward to it and sent texts back and forth. On Friday I had an appointment in one of the hospitals near Robin. We’d talked about meeting for a snack. All week there was silence. On Thursday, I took the plunge and sent a message.

Followed by more silence. Autism is interesting. Shall I take bets on whether tomorrow’s meeting happens? I do hope so. So far we’ve agreed on the time, more or less, but my question about where goes unanswered.

(Update) It happened. The visit lasted about 45 minutes. No surprises there. Success though.

My niece and I ate at my favourite downtown spot, Chef’s House, for the Summerlicious menu. First time I’ve had steak in a loooong time
Birthday lunch for himself. I found and made a recipe for sfoglietta frolla, then made a caprese salad. Nostalgia

Yesterday was my dad’s birthday. He would have been 101. He was the man everyone loved and admired. There’s a lot that I could say about him and, believe it or not, I am writing my life story. So I shall save it for there. (Will I ever get back to it?) I spent his last months with him, and it was both a privilege and an enormous challenge—meanwhile, a tribute on Facebook.

If anyone attributed to me even one of those things, I’d be very, very lucky. My mother would have been 102 next Sunday. When I was growing up, I thought her very bohemian, a liberal thinker. She’d gone to art school. It made me feel special among my friends, whose parents were far more traditional and usually a bit older. Looking back, I know she was a woman who knew her own mind, and this made some people bristle a bit, but I wouldn’t be the free thinker I am without that early influence. There are days I miss my parents in a very painful way. Thankful to have had them. I know too many people who have had terrible or absent parenting. I just hope that’s not what Robin will say of me one day.

Mum blowing bubbles with Robin. For his birthday this year I got him some new ones
Dad and me on the boat across to the Isle of Wight. 1948? I was a year old before I could walk

The garden next door is growing at a crazy rate. The same is true for the downstairs herb garden. The amount of rain and some very hot spells have made everything grow at quite a speed.

The restaurant herb garden is flourishing this year. It’s tough to get in there and pick anything, but I can’t resist – especially that purple basil
The growth in just weeks is phenomenal. We thought the garden would be minimal this year and now look
Compared to what I put in the last post

I went for a blood test one day. The lab I chose is on Bathurst Street. It’s a really good snapshot of how Toronto has and will continue to change. The street is named for Henry Bathurst who organised migration from the British Isles to Canada after the War of 1812. He never set foot in Canada. Bathurst starts at the lake and continues north, where it was once called Crookshank’s Lane (some lane!) its name till 1870. Somewhere to the north of me there’s an original (restored) tollkeeper’s cottage. I’ll add it to my list of places to see. The small area I walked along was originally just a muddy trail. Bloor Street (south of me) is one of Toronto’s major dividing streets (along with Yonge Street, which runs north and south). Along Bloor Street at Bathurst, many Jewish immigrants once lived, but there’s not really much sign of that now. The Jews moved much further north but many have clung to Bathurst even then. Later this was a Caribbean area, and that too has faded, although the bakery in the station concourse sells some of the best Jamaican beef patties. There are many different ethnic restaurants in the area now and some small stores. On a cooler day I can take more photos.

How things change from the Toronto I once knew. Bloor and Bathurst

The intersection before

Streetcar with manga cladding heading towards Bathurst subway station

It may not surprise you to know that most of my walks are food-themed. Along the way or at the journey’s end, there will be food. Sometimes it’s just window-shopping. My ride dropped me at a very fancy small supermarket, Summerhill Market, where I shopped with my eyes and claimed a free cookie, a perk for the newsletter subscribers. I now think I will go back and actually buy something, ready-made, superfluous to needs, and hopefully delicious.

On this stretch of Bathurst, south of Dupont and before you reach the subway station, things are bougie.  Besides the fancy supermarket, there are gift shops and studios. The area up here is called Seaton Village. It’s where the Harry-Meghan love nest was. Definitely catering to the well-healed residents. This isn’t fancy-fancy Toronto, but it’s up there.

On Bathurst Street. I didn’t go in to help out. Is this a nod to the Caribbean past?
Old-style Toronto on Bathurst Street. Steven’s Grocery and Flowers, 990 Bathurst St
Summerhill Market on Bathurst Street is food porn, or at least eye candy. It reminds me of Spar, as do the prices
I miss the year-round selection of flowers that I could afford to buy weekly in London. Toronto florists have nothing like the same knack, and the prices scare me

Toronto hosted six FIFA World Cup games. Our stadium is small, but many loved it because it made it feel more old-style and intimate, with fans closer to the field. The city felt festive, and I wished I could attend the fan fests and celebrations. Many home fans visited their teams’ games, and since Toronto has so many immigrants, they lent their enthusiasm. It was sad to see it all end, but this has definitely been a boost to home-grown football.

They haven’t taken down the FIFA signs yet. This is in Chinatown
Random: Oddly, a police station has cropped up in the food court at the local mall. That’s a first!
A corner of the back patio on an off day

There’s a buzz downstairs with the restaurant patio booked solidly for outdoor dining. We’ve had some wacky weather where guests had to be shepherded indoors, but for the most part things are hopping and every day they’re open I enjoy cracking the bathroom window open to hear the chatter and smell the woodfire. Makes me wonder if I’ve ever shared their Instagram page for some gorgeous photos.

Wellesley subway station, gateway to the (Gay) Village

I finally had my second cataract surgery. I knew what to expect this time but still found my anxiety mounting once I was in the operating room. On the other hand, healing has been easier. My eye isn’t even scratchy this time. I’ve also noticed this eye has clearer vision than the last. I shouldn’t be surprised, since it always was the stronger one, but it’s still strange. Something to ask the doctor at my check-up on Tuesday. And this feels like another chapter, a nice feeling. It’s done! Next, an eye exam for distance glasses – I’m not sure when.

I went to see a friend’s retirement building. I don’t quite know what to say. It’s incredible and if I can find my way to afford it, I’m definitely considering it. I now feel superstitious so will hold off further comments. I’m visiting her again this week so maybe then I will dare to say  more.

August will be a busy month. I’m starting a lifestyle program. In fact, I’ve begun a lot of required preparation (like the bloodwork and some reading, even some diet changes). Group sessions start tomorrow (10 August), and I’ll fill you in. Tuesday is my eye check-up; next week is my oncology follow-up, and the following week my lymphoedema follow-up. It’s a hot summer now, and I’m taking things slowly when I can.  I want my life to be more than a medical marathon!

Let’s do it!

I might understand monsoons now

Wednesday, 17 July, 2024

This summer there’s been a lot of rain. I mean a lot. Not only rain but thunderstorms and wind. Last week it was because of Hurricane Beryl. This week I’m not sure.

Monday, which I may have more to say about, it rained very hard for a couple of hours. I had to be out for appointments so there was no way to avoid this.

On the way to the hospital, the first of the rain started. I had to call an Uber to get there
At the front of the hospital (Women’s College Hospital – a story I need to tell). I worked here for 12 years but it didn’t look like this then. They pulled the old building down and now it’s very modern and has become 100% ambulatory

Yesterday was a different but similar story. I woke in the morning to a dark day with some threatening clouds. I knew I had to go out at lunchtime for the third of my four appointments this week, so I hoped and hoped as I listened to the loud thunder out there somewhere. It didn’t take long for the rain to arrive. And I mean rain.

Threatening clouds and darkness in the early morning
The clouds gathered and got darker
The rain started and the horizon faded

It rained so hard we couldn’t see much outside. It came down like it would never stop, loud and relentless. I thought about my appointment and wondered if I could dare to step out in it even for a second.

It rained like this for three to four hours, letting up slightly just as I needed to leave to go out. When I got down to the apartment lobby, all the power went out. It stayed out for another few hours and I soldiered on. Leaving my appointment I was stunned to see brilliant sunshine, not much fun when you have had your pupils dilated, but again I pushed on. Some stores had simply closed up for the day – there were talks of this continuing late into the evening – while others seemed to be in holiday mode, relaxing in their doorways, chatting to people inside and out. Transit was ‘moderately affected – streetcars run on electricity from overhead cables, but I did manage to catch one and made my way to the Philipino shop that has a hot counter. They’d promised to stay open one more hour and I’d promised to bring something home if we couldn’t cook. I stood making my choice when the lights came on.

It was like a celebration in there. It felt almost like lockdown everywhere and I had a nostalgic moment or ten. Everyone was chatting, complaining lightheartedly about no hydro, no internet, no stove to cook on, food defrosting in the freezer…and it felt like family.

I’m glad to have had those moments and remembered only too well how people come together when things are rough, and here it was again.

We eat on the balcony if the rain isn’t coming in the wrong direction. We just pull the table in closer to the window and watch the weather

In total, Toronto had 10cm of rain. It was as much rain as usually falls in a single month in July. Cars were partially submerged, some even floating, basements (many which are apartments) were flooded and uninhabitable, roads and highways were closed. Today many still don’t have power 32 hours or so later.

So the climate is changing and climate emergencies are more frequent. Much like the pandemic, which was anticipated for decades, we aren’t prepared and I haven’t heard of anything in the works either. Maybe I just don’t know about it – not just maybe. All I know is it all felt apocalyptic yesterday. I didn’t feel scared but I did feel curious.

I didn’t take photos. It was too wet, then too hot, my hands were occupied and my battery slowly died.

Other than that, it seems I am old. Who knew! One of my Monday appointments, was supposed to be to confirm that, yes, I did now have arthritis in my hands and I needed a splint🙄. However, the lovely OT told with me great enthusiasm it was to offer me a walker (‘mostly covered by OHIP’ (Ontario’s health care system) .  The next day my appointment was to inform me that my cataracts were ‘mature enough’ for me to get them removed and I could have the first one done next week – what?!  I hesitated and said I needed a little time to organise my life. Perhaps many older people don’t have much else going on and, although my life is a bit sticky right now, I do have things to arrange.

Today I thought about my mother peeling hardboiled eggs as I attempted one myself. Then I thought about how she was younger than I am now on the particular day I was reminiscing about. This led me to consider my grandmothers, both of whom were proper little old ladies with their floral pinnies, beige lisle stockings, varicose veins, full corsets, and orthopaedic shoes while younger than I am now. I pondered it all.

My paternal grandmother,  Sophia (Sophie). In this photo she’s holding my brother John and so is probably not 70 yet
My dad with my maternal grandmother, Charlotte (Lottie) perhaps a little younger than I am now

Before today I’d thought of writing everything that’s been messed up in the last few days – crazy-making stuff that only now seems funny – but it’s not in the cards now, unless i need some material for my stand-up act. (I don’t have one.)

Today it didn’t rain and that’s enough. To sweeten the deal and the day, cocktails in a can will be available in Ontario corner shops this week. No big deal, you say? You have no idea! Yes, in 2024 this is just happening.  I say it all the time but I wish I drank. Or do I?

P.S. According to the Met offices, Tuesday was not a record day for rain. In fact, the day I went to the hospital to have Robin — 28 July 1980 — was quite a bit worse at 118.5mm. People roll their eyes when I tell them how heavy the rain was that day (the air was turquoise,’ I’ll often say) but, you see now, it really was.

 

When a highlight is a lowlight

Sunday, July 14, 2024

It was a pretty quiet week, the highlight being a bit of a lowlight.

(Restaurant review alert…)

That was going out for dinner the day after Krish’s birthday. We chose a Philipino restaurant we’d thought about for a while now. We’ve not liked the idea of this cuisine but then enjoyed the Philipino fast food we’ve had so were going for a real restaurant this time. I think we should have stuck to the fast food counters! We chose one prix fixe and one a la carte item. We started with grilled oysters, buttery and cheesy. I liked them. This was followed by a skimpy belly pork with some rice and a vinegary cucumber and tomato salad (more like a relish) and some sizzling kalbi ribs. The cassava and coconut cake finish was sweet and interesting. We enjoyed the kalbi ribs the most but at $26 we might have done better at the Korean place across the street and had some banchan to round it out. On top of this, the meats were dripping with grease and I ruined my new favourite top.

Pork belly with rice and tomato and cucumber salad
Cassava and coconut cake served in a banana leaf

However, silver lining, we got OUT. Was nice being adults for the evening.  And this week we are going back to Batibot the Philipino food counter down the street for some adobo pork – lots of it at a fraction of the price. (Well, I think we are.)

Not much happened until Saturday and that was a thrilling walk to a bargain supermarket down the street. Freshco has cheaper prices but we go there mainly because they have a lot of ethnic food on sale, like freezers full of Chinese dumplings, Korean noodles, Indian snacks and meals.

To get to the Freshco we have to walk under the railway bridge at Dufferin Street. I dread that bit of the journey but it’s the only way. To think how much I enjoyed walking through the Blackwall Tunnel and the underpass to the Isle of Dogs when I was a child. Now walking through these longer tunnels are somewhat terrifying. At least no trains thundered overhead.





At the east end of the tunnel is an engraved plaque that confuses many Torontonians since there is already a Queen Street subway station on the Yonge-University line. This, however, is the name of the tunnel – subway meaning underpass.


Once through the tunnel, Gladstone House, now a hotel greets you. It’s Toronto’s longest continuously operating hotel   Built in 1889, it has traditional light hardwood floors, restored exposed brick walls and works by local artists throughout the building.

‘The Gladstone’

By the Freshco is Island Foods, a popular Trinidadian roti shop In 1974, the first Island Foods. This isn’t the original location, of course. That was opened in Ruth and Ramasar Sawh, who arrived in Canada in 1968 with no previous restaurant experience, but with a desire to build a bright future for their family. Krish knows them well and we go by sometimes for their doubles and roti.

Island Foods
Shepard Fairey (@obeygiant) art by the Freshco
Mixed architecture by Freshco
Finally in the Freshco

I finished The Giver of Stars. I’d tried it twice before and not got very far before abandoning it. This time I stuck with it and, although the Kentucky mountain accents put me off at first, I quickly began to enjoy the character and story development. It got very gritty towards the end and that surprised me.  Recommended. After that heavier-than-my-usual read, I started a fluffy romance from Christina Lauren, whose books are fun to read if you don’t mind her common themes and frequent forays into soft-almost-hard pornographic paragraphs. Denise has sent me the entire audiobook of The Perfect Mother (Caroline Mitchell) so @Denise (hi!) , OK I will but you now have to promise to read a Jojo Moyes in return – unwritten law.

I have a very busy week coming up. I’m seeing a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist ( on the same day) a consultation for lens replacement, and getting a phone call from the Women’s College Breast Centre, as well going to lunch with my sister.

The fasting is going OK. Most days I can make it till noon, but there are definitely some rough patches. If I don’t make it a religion and circumstances allow, I’ll continue. Do I feel any different? I don’t think so. However, I am thinking about meals, mostly out. Where should I go next? Well, there’s lunch with Ruth but maybe also somewhere else. Thinking.

Stay tuned, I guess.

 

A birthday, not mine – and Beryl

Wednesday, July10, 2024

Quiet days yet busy in their own way. I have now made three different soups from my chicken stock. A laksa with chicken, a pho with chicken (photo last blog), and a Chinese soup with shrimp and tofu. Eating on the balcony is relaxing, much more so than on the coffee table.

And diet update – well, who knows. I start eating at noon and finish by 8. The mornings are the hardest. By 11am I am usually feeling quite woozy. This is expected. My other choice is to start at 11 and go till 7pm but that might be hard to do. After a week, if my blood sugar continues to not cooperate, I’ll know that’s the better plan. I’m mostly buddying with Krish as he does this, but maybe I’ll benefit.

I’ve flipped through way too much Netflix, Prime and Roki screens to find something to watch. I miss live TV but I don’t want to be one of these ‘I never watch TV’ people.

I went out briefly again yesterday to meet a friend, Esmeralda, who is visiting her old home of Toronto from Bologna. We ate in the Portuguese cafe where they served me a matcha latte, disappointedly from a sweetened (ugh) mix. This friend is one of the few I have that seems to drift through life, as I have, letting the waves carry you along while you make decisions based on the scenery and the weather. No forward plans, not really. I’m not sure this has served me.

She has talked for some years now about moving from Bologna and she’s now thinking perhaps the Azores (she’s from Macau so has a connection with Portugal) or Bolivia. I envy her the ability to even think about this. I talked to Krish about how the single woman I know are usually keen to have a relationship but, when it comes down to it, they love being able to make their own decisions, without conferring with anyone else. I’m a tolerant and cooperative person but this sounds perfect in some ways.

I went into the Dollarama to buy a paintbox and a sketchbook, partly to finish a birthday project for Krish (it’s TODAY!) and partly to have something more creative to do from the balcony than blow bubbles.

Out on the street  lady yelled at me angrily when I took this photo. What was in my view was one group of homeless people on the corner. They gather here on each corner and across the road daily. I told her ‘I take photos every day.’ She raged on

The weather was very warm and stiflingly humid.  In my haste to get back and cool off,  I forgot I promised to get cilantro to make mango salad and cold spicy tofu today.

Last night I took hours to watch a video on how to make a ‘paper dancing man’ – I watched it over and over, stopping it and cursing the large Pause button that covered my view of the instructional video, and I made about six, all of which failed. I wondered then worried about the state of my brain or at least the wiring that made it so impossible to translate what’s in front of me to an actual creation. How can I even pretend to be an artist when this is the case? I seem to manage really, but my dolls were the first thing that I could just create without getting tangled up in directions, left or right, purl or plain, up or down, which way to turn this, how will it look when I turn it inside out? This morning I got up and pretty much breezed through my final and acceptable version. Then I wrapped the little present, started on some applique tissue design on the outside and wrote the card with more applique hearts made from Post-Its. Needs must.

Why such trouble with the dancing man? What goes on during the journey from brain to hands? I shared the video with my brother and sister, over Messenger – as a test – could they do it to see how long it would take. My sister was characteristcally quiet and my brother (who I knew would spring to the task) left the chat and came back within about five minutes with a video of his creation. Well, damn! Anyway, here’s the video that shows you how. Want to try it?

Hurricane Beryl is passing through. The intemittent rain has been heavy, the sky has been mostly leaden.  There have been a couple of very windy periods with some huge rain.

The rain was a loud, heavy and furious curtain

We stayed indoors and even our plans to go out for dinner were foiled, so we will go out tomorrow instead. We planned where and when and that’s almost the entire battle around here. The plans were not foiled by the weather but rather the inability to choose where to go. This is far from new. It happens all the time. 

Krish went for food and I finished up the present wrapping, and made a bunch of salads for lunch, including the mango salad now that Krish had bought the cilantro. We ate on the balcony and somehow didn’t get wet.

Birthday lunch – beet, squash and orange salad, baba ganouj, cold spiced tofu, mango salad and naan. We ate on the balcony and the meal was fun

I listened to more of The Giver of Stars and managed to nap. The book is good – it’s about an English woman who is living in Kentucky with a new husband who has never touched her. She gets hired into a new visiting library scheme in the Kentucky mountains and this will change her life – I’m already sure of it. Jojo Moyes manages to write love stories where the romance isn’t the only focus. Strangely, this is rare, and makes the story feel more real.

My gift was a success – as predicted, the wrapping was the biggest success. So I’m going to try to draw and paint more. Little things and maybe more paper crafts. They feel disposable, a bonus these days.

The gift-wrapped box, in which the robot toys were, and my final and only successful paper dancing man.

I think about my discarded arts and crafts supplies, though. I’m pleased I was able to pass them along to someone in Hackney, but sometimes I look over to see them here and they’re gone. I took a lot of pleasure in gathering those things – the fabrics, from donations, from remnants in the fabric store in Stoke Newington, cut from old clothes found in charity shops. Then there was the lace, the buttons, the beads and brooches, the felt, the embroidery threads, colourful and some metallic. The pipe cleaners and glue gun and fake flowers to pull apart to make skirts for the little Day of the Dead and the Christmas peg dolls. The paints and the pencils and who knows what else. It will be a challenge to collect a new box or three. Looking forward to that.

Meanwhile, it’s Toronto, it’s Parkdale, it’s Hurricane Beryl leftovers and it’s Krishna’s birthday and it’s been a pretty good day.