20-20

Monday, 15 June, 2026

On the subject of 20-20, I looked back at my first post of that year. I remember typing it. Lockdown hadn’t been announced yet, but there were quiet rumours of an epidemic that could become a pandemic. That didn’t sound possible at the time. Nevertheless, I had high hopes for the year. It was 20-20, perfect vision, after all. What could go wrong?

The concept of ‘home’ came to me again today. I am following a couple on social media. They are from the USA and left to find a different life last year – they’ve been in Mexico some years back, and recently the UK, Spain, Crete, and Holland. They want to live in the UK, but that’s not easy. They do have a  three-year digital nomad visa to live in Spain so, after some stays in these other countries, they are in Valencia for their three years, still hoping for an entry way to the UK. Inevitably, they get a lot of comments – some hateful – from mostly US and UK followers asking what they can possibly see in the UK, how they are traitors who will regret their decision, and so on. People don’t get it. Somehow they think they should. Oh, I’ve been there. I am there.

So let’s talk about me. Because I’m trying. Really. What makes us love a place? Honestly, who knows? We can trot out all the reasons we love a place, or a person, but there will always be things we don’t love about them. After living in London, Toronto, Southern California (LA area), and San Francisco, and travelling a bit in Europe, I can say that there are things I love and don’t love about everywhere I’ve been. However, there are constants, the things that a place must have for me to love – or like – them at all. In my introspective way, I follow a handful of people from Canada and the US who have relocated to London, and an equal number of people who have moved from the UK to Toronto. Fascinating. The North Americans in London interest me with their mixed reports of falling in love versus pure confusion-frustration over the UK way of doing things. They report missing things from home, often junk food items that make me go ewww. But I get it. Now, the Brits living in Toronto are another breed. They’re starstruck. The skyscrapers, the summer (and winter) sunshine, the ‘nice factor.’ They love their sparkling condos, their mod cons.  They’re young and stride around the city- they’re used to walking places – checking out all the boogie coffee shops and eateries. Toronto is next-level luxury to them. What I came to appreciate was that the things that impressed them were not the things I wanted. I get it. But it’s fun to watch them brim with joy in a Dollarama, gape at the produce in Farm Boy (and yes at the prices too). I keep hoping their enthusiasm will rub off, and try to see this place through (their) new eyes. I have a cousin whose middle name is Bitter. Yes, that one. She smirks at me and then gathers her bitterness, telling me that I wouldn’t love East London if I’d lived there as long as she had, if I’d endured the hard life she had no choice to live. Once when I was staying in Liverpool, my dad visited on business. He screwed up his nose and asked me how I could love being there when it was so poor, so dirty. I told him, honestly, that the things he saw as ugly were the things I loved. I couldn’t help it.

Am I wearing rose-coloured glasses? Am I romanticising? Does it matter? Is my cousin right? Honestly, I understand her history is longer, but no matter how you paint it, I honestly did and still love my childhood home even as I know I had my eyes open about how ‘poor’ it was. (We were never truly poor, but you may know what I mean.)  Is the grass greener? There’s that, but it’s also different, and different can be a lot of fun.

Since I last wrote anything, there’s been a gap because last Tuesday I had my first cataract surgery and, since it makes some people squeamish but I want to document it, it follows on the next page.

Meanwhile, some photos to document what else I’ve been filling my time with.

At the corner of Dupont and Ossington are some large local Ontario stone boulders where people can sit. I looked but can’t find any explanation
Ever entertained by watching kitchen prep going on at the side of the house. It was a gorgeous day
After a failed attempt last year, when I bought the wrong size, put my Ikea duvet cover on the bed. It feels good.
Inside the Filosophy coffee shop, there’s a chalkboard which is fun to read
Iced matcha and a cheese and chive scone from Filosophy. So far Road Trip is the scone champion. Patio season!
Made a new doll to beat my ennui. Even managed to complete it with my recovering eye
Toronto is hosting six FIFA World Cup games. People are excited and it’s far more popular than my ‘roommate’ supposed it would be. Yesterday we passed the Fan Fest area.. This is all I could capture. ‘The World in a City’

Friday photo:

At the back, the Old Man’s helper is hard at work. Since this photo, there’s a new addition. Some poles have been erected near the fence. Things are growing

Continue reading “20-20”

Getting out and fighting ennui

Friday, 5 June, 2026

We’ll start with a rant, shall we?

I haven’t had a steak for years. That’s the last thing I posted to my brother. Restaurants in Toronto seem promising, but often I come away disappointed and broke. I need some new go-tos! Don’t hold back. Send me some suggestions.

A disappointing meal at a place chosen for a friend’s birthday dinner. The bill was huge, and I could have produced better in my own kitchen. At the bottom left, these prosciutto-wrapped asparagus spears were ridiculously named “Italian spring rolls”.
At the same restaurant, this was billed as double chocolate cake. It was a square muffin at best. It’s so sad
At my friend’s son’s restaurant, The Federal (The Fed), I am rarely disappointed. Breakfast burrito with the crispiest rosti was my choice at lunch with my brother and my friend, Judy

My brother’s visit came and went.  I considered m and am still considering, visiting him next time. I honestly have a good deal of hesitation until 2028 (hopefully not longer), and although I think it’s somewhat unfounded, it’s a very hard thing to think about. At the very least, I’d need to be in a safe and healthy break from all my medical stuff and know how to handle the physicality of it if I’m alone.

As expected, I couldn’t manage to get out with him as I always have. I managed slightly more than I thought at times but far less than I wanted. And maybe that’s where it has to sit with me for now. One day we met my son in his neighbourhood of Chinatown and Kensington Market. I managed really well that day and enjoyed all the colour and random stickering and wall art (none of the latter posted today).

Kensington Market, Baldwin Street. Changes so much over time but I think it’s ready for another makeover
I don’t think so

Only kind of riot I’d expect in Toronto the Good

Heard you the first time

My brother also came with me to my monthly kitchen class at Toronto General Hospital Survivorship program. We had the sample snack- lunch they give you afterwards, and we’d wandered through the MaRS Centre. “Medical and Related Sciences,” MaRS has expanded beyond medical research into information and communications technology, engineering, and social innovation.

The Hydro building at Queens Park and College is lovely on a clear day
The MaRS Centre is impressive and there are always people walking or having coffee. I aso had my own discovery – going between floors is not easily accessible – for shame!
I love when new buildings incorporate old ones. In this case the front side and entrance of the building is on the main road.
Always Toronto’s biggest claim to fame

Meanwhile, I’m carrying what I consider a sin — ennui. 2026 ennui. Writing fills some gaps; getting out a little is helpful if brief. I’d love to sew again, but I need materials to get started, and Krish isn’t keen on me stockpiling any more dolls. I also need art materials and ideas. I joined an online sewing week gathered some thoughts. I need to organise picking up the  promised donations, and it feels daunting. Can someone volunteer to drive me from house to house to collect now that I can’t do the walking? Life became more complex. Can you feel my brain overheating?

I visited the grounds of the Ukrainian Catholic Church of the Holy Protection of the Mother of God (Yep, all that: Свята Покрова – Українська Католицька Церква Святої ). It’s just down the road from me and is one of those Toronto churches that makes you think you left the country. Canada has a very large Ukrainian community: 1.4 to 1.5 million people of Ukrainian descent live in Canada (122,500 in Toronto), making it the second-largest Ukrainian diaspora in the world after Russia. In fact, most Canadians consider pierogis one of their own national dishes. There are also 300,000 Ukrainian nationals living as temporary residents since 2022. I didn’t get to go inside the church, but I should try one day. My brother captured a few, enough for me to see it’s worth it. This page shows you just a bit, including a video. I actually prefer a very simple church, but this looks quite glorious.


Meanwhile, the restaurant is morphing into its summer incarnation. This has been fun to watch.

On Monday, two days before opening, the patio doesn’t look anywhere ready for diners. It will be!
Patio in business

I haven’t mentioned that my first cataract surgery is next week. I’m anxious, of course, but let’s get it done. I’m determined not to worry, and confess my biggest anxiety is going up in the elevator to the sixth floor! (I know.) There are three small elevators in the building, and only one is in service. It’s busy, with waiting times said to be around half an hour. Ouch. Once in, it will stop on every floor. This is a nightmare for an elevator-phobic like me. I shall have my audiobook or a meditation to listen to – must! Of course I will blog about it.

Friday-ish photo:

The Old Man’s garden. He’s obviously not there as often as he once was, but there’s growth at the back and along tight to the fence on the left, places he can hold on and do whatever work he can. There’s activity in the middle area, but I think others are taking care of this for him
Seeing the Old Man is like another episode in our personal soap opera. See him?