My week in Wales

Friday, 20 September, 2019

Wales is beautiful…well, Pembrokeshire is. I’ve not seen that much of Wales – bits and pieces and some of it so long ago that I no longer remember the details.

Pembrokeshire is in southwest Wales in that sticky-outy part of the coast where, if you look up to the sky, there are planes travelling from and to North America. In fact, when I cross the Atlantic from Toronto, I’m aware that I’m probably flying over Emma’s town as we reach the coastline.

The trouble is – look away you country folk – Pembrokeshire is rural, dotted with little villages and towns, and it’s wasted on me. Somehow the gene that makes people sigh with relief when they reach the countryside and drink in all that greenery and smell that fresh air skipped me.

Give me the urban life.

But there were five days, more or less, in Wales. Precisely in Goodwick (in Welsh, Wdig) a small coastal town that is twinned with Fishguard (in Welsh, Abergwaun, meaning “Mouth of the River Gwaun”) . There are about 5,000 people living in Fishguard and Goodwick – yes, it’s that small. Emma’s little part of Goodwick is called Stop-and-Call. Confused yet? The photos below show the view from Stop-and-Call, 330 feet from the centre of the town. You can see that you’re high above the harbour.

View of the countryside from Stop-and-Call
View of the countryside from Stop-and-Call
View of Fishguard Harbour from Stop-and-Call
View of Fishguard Harbour from Stop-and-Call

Most my time at Stop-and-Call was spent sitting with Emma in her bedroom. Since she’s become less mobile, she’s set up the space with an armchair she can sleep in, a work space, and a small area with a microwave and bar fridge. She goes downstairs when she’s going out. Emma has carers and her son, Sam, helps out. Most of the time it’s Julie, who lives a short walk away. There seems to be a regular routine to all this but Emma says that, after years of yearning for time alone, she spends hours by herself now. She misses London, where she once owned a flat off Brick Lane. I used to love visiting her there.

Emma’s husband, Colin, has been living in a rest home for some time now. He has’end-stage’ MS and so there’s also a complex routine for him, which is shared by Julie and another carer, also called Emma. A lot of Emma’s time is taken up with advocating for Colin and for herself and her family. It’s interesting to see the choreography of it all.

After a quiet but chatty day spent with Emma in her room on Tuesday, we made plans to get out on Wednesday to a spa hotel called The Cliff on the edge of Cardigan. We were promised a stunning view so why not. Elaborate plans were made for the drive – Sam’s friend, Dave, drove us there along many narrow, hedge-lined road, country highways with all the attendant farm vehicles intruding briefly, and through the lovely little towns of Newport and Cardigan – two places I’d consider going back to should I be in Pembrokeshire again.

The Cliff hotel was at the very edge of the Irish Sea. We ate lunch in the sun on the patio, Emma with her wheelchair umbrella. I chose a pasta with local cockles but regretted my choice. It was heavily sauced and this completely swamped the flavour of the cockles, and it was heaped with some crisp, crumbled bacon, which I pushed aside after a couple of tastes. So much for my food review. Well, not quite… Krish and I strolled down to the edge of the cliff to look at the sea, where I took a couple of photos. Then we walked back to have dessert on another bit of the patio that had more comfortable chairs. A deconstructed cheesecake to share…hmm. Three ice cream scoops of under-flavoured dense cream cheese, some biscuit crumbs, a slice of dried orange and some (I thought bitter) blood orange sploshes on the plate. Awful!

(P.S. we preferred the view from Goodwick!)

The view from the grounds of The Cliff

The view from the grounds of The Cliff
The view from the grounds of The Cliff
Pasta with local cockles
Pasta with local cockles
The dreaded deconstructed cheesecake
The dreaded deconstructed cheesecake

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We go to Wales – arriving

Monday, 16, 17 September, 2019

Getting ready for a trip – well, one seems to blur into another – I get this strange pit of stomach feeling, like someone has died. And I wouldn’t say excitement – but certainly anticipation or hope. I love the destination part of travelling but am not so good at the actual journey.

I find my agoraphobia kicks in. Will I be OK? Will something awful happen? What if I never get there? That’s the worry gene. But then the expectation of something different, what I want to explore, what I want to taste, what will it all feel like? Inevitably, when planning a trip near the time to leave, other places creep into my brain. These are the places I’ve been before and would like to say hello to again, but also the places I’ve not made it to…and then the anticipatory anxiety of will I be OK and what if something awful happens… Gah.

Paddington Station and the great Brunel
Paddington Station and the great Brunel
Sweets before the journey?
Sweets before the journey?

Our journey was very smooth yesterday. We arrived at Swansea on time and quickly. Then it fell apart. The little two-carriage train we transferred to on the next platform couldn’t be used. Somewhere in the muffled Welsh accented announcement the word ‘broken down’ popped in. Instead we had to wait a half hour for another train that would take us to a bus, and then on to our destination. It would add about 90 minutes to our journey.

The replacement train had only one carriage but it smelled better than the first one. These little trains are like toys. They whirr, they are filled with cheery passengers, the guard walks through making small talk to pass along to the driver where people might want to stop. We pass through little villages, see cows in small intimate hollows of fields by the tracks, and then we’re alongside the sea. There’s sand, and inns, and water, and that muddy waste you see when the tide goes out. I can smell meadows, then the sea, and sometimes soil. We’re not in London any more.

We see the sea
We see the sea

When Emma reaches me by phone, I’m on my way to the bus. I’d asked the driver for the washroom. Go in that gate, see, right along to the end, don’t worry, we’ll wait for you. And so they did. Emma lets me know that ‘Colin the taxi’ (not her husband, who has MS and is in a rest home) will meet us when we get to the station.

On the road, meadows and hedges
On the road, meadows and hedges

Another almost 90 minutes on the road, in a school bus brought in for extra duty and driven by a rather elderly man, and headed straight into a large and relentless sun, causing the driver to constantly lower and raise a rickety sun blind as he went. After the first stop he announced that he didn’t know his way to Fishguard station. Not to worry, the lady next to me did so she’d be happy to direct him. We were entertained by the winding road and by two rather spectacular funnel clouds illuminated by the setting sun and looking ominously like twin tornadoes!

By time I could get a clear shot, the two cyclone shapes in the sky had dwindled and were golden in the setting sun
By time I could get a clear shot, the two cyclone shapes in the sky had dwindled and were golden in the setting sun
Finally we saw Fishguard Harbour at the end of our journey
Finally we saw Fishguard Harbour at the end of our journey

Colin the taxi picked us up, along with two other weary travellers and finally we were here, at Emma’s in Goodwick! A delicious dinner, cooked by today’s carer Julie and eaten on trays on our laps in Emma’s bedroom,  listening to her stories of battles with doctors, politicians, and lawyers. She doesn’t leave her room any more but there’s so much going on for her from her armchair that’s taken the place of her bed these days. I feel very lucky.

I’m sitting in Emma’s kitchen. I opened the top of the window, knowing that someone will come down eventually and ask why it’s open. The air is fresh. Outside the road is steep and birds are singing. If I lean out of the window, there’s the harbour – not the best view I’ll see today – but there it is. I havent been here for four or five years. And I made a makeshift breakfast – a cracker, cheese, and half a banana. Opposite is the cottage that Sam, Emma’s older son, lives in. I will see him today and I know what to expect. I’ve known Sam since he was a teenager.

Opposite is Bramble Cottage, where Sam lives with Charlie. We're staying in Emma's - Lavender Cottage
Opposite is Bramble Cottage, where Sam lives with Charlie. We’re staying in Emma’s – Lavender Cottage. This part of the hill is gentler than the next
Beyond Bramble Cottage, just before the road turns and the hill gets serious
Beyond Bramble Cottage, just before the road turns and the hill gets serious

Strangely, there is an oven in the middle of the floor. Hmm. Coming in or out, I’m not sure. Perhaps out since I notice the main oven has stickers on the doors. A new one?

There's an oven in the middle of the floor
There’s an oven in the middle of the floor

This place is very cottagey. I can’t help thinking what I would do with it were it mine, although it never will be. I find it interesting how differently we all like to arrange our spaces. I’m not a big fan of the kitchen table being the main socialising area but Emma’s amazing living room was flooded some years ago and it hasn’t recovered. In there, Colin had many years ago put some fantastic carpentry there. No couch sitting for me this week.

The living room window and the view beyond
The living room window and the view beyond

There’s talk of the battles, the family, politics – Brexit of course, and even time for some frivolity – clothes and hair talk. Always welcome. And so to bed. I’ve been awake for a couple of hours now and will spend some time organising my clothing and electronics. Krish packs so I don’t know where most things are. I hope they both sleep for a bit longer. My alone time is more precious than anyone knows.

Volunteering and babies – Haggerston

Thursday, 12 September, 2019

A few years ago…OK, almost four decades ago, I had a baby. Nobody could have been more surprised than I was that this ever happened. It was way too grown up and weird but there I was, having a baby. More about that another time.

However, after I had a baby I reinvented myself. (Not for the first time either!) I learned and experienced so much that i decided I’d like to pass that knowledge along. Yet another story for another time but I trained to teach prenatal classes. I absolutely loved it. I met the most amazing women, some of whom are still my closest friends, I learned so much about so many things, and it opened my life up in many, many ways.

For one thing, I became a published writer. I’d always loved writing, of course, but to be paid to do it was a dream come true. And there is yet another story to be told another time…but it involves strong and interesting women, coming to terms with the work of giving birth, and becoming a different sort of groupie in the birthing world.

Fast forward many years, here I am in London and long past my teaching and even writing days. When I heard about a volunteering opportunity where I could mentor a pregnant woman, I jumped at it. Back to the classroom I went to learn how to mentor and navigate the waters of birth and new parenting in the UK. I am now a Bump Buddy.

I actually waited more than a year to be matched up but I do have a mentee. I’ll keep her anonymous but she’s an older mum with a young baby and we meet once a week to talk about babies and so much more.

Luckily, I don’t get broody. I made a good friend through Bump Buddies too, Shahanaz. That makes it worth it.

Although babies don’t make me broody, I miss my time with pregnant women, teaching them, helping them understand things, helping them pull out the strengths they already have inside them.  So satisfying!

On Thursday, Bump Buddies had a coffee and cake meeting – yes, please! They held it at Waterhouse restaurant by their office.  Waterhouse is a social enterprise delivering chef training and support for young people who have faced challenging life circumstances; including homelessness, mental health problems, knife crime and gang violence. They do a fantastic job in there. The food is great and the prices are so reasonable. They catered all our Bump Buddy lunches. I recommend them!

Bump Buddies is part of Shoreditch Trust in Haggerston,  the next neighbourhood over from Dalston in the borough of Hackney. Haggerston has a lot of old rundown buildings and factories but it also has some really cottagey areas too, a lovely park, a lot of new buildings, and it has the canal – Regents Canal.

New buildings springing up in Haggerston
New buildings springing up in Haggerston
Industrial courtyards along Kingsland Road
Industrial courtyards along Kingsland Road
Looking from Kingsland Road over Regents Canal
Looking from Kingsland Road over Regents Canal
Barge life
Barge life
The mosque at Laburnum Street
The mosque at Laburnum Street
The Glory, a gay pub on Kingsland Road
The Glory, a gay pub on Kingsland Road at Orsman Road
Walking down Orsman Road to Watrhouse
Walking down Orsman Road to Watrhouse

We had a great meeting with Jane, the coordinator, making us aware of lots of changes and new opportunities. And I had a warm brownie and an apricot, both delicious. Well done, Waterhouse!

Bump Buddy meeting
Bump Buddy meeting
View from Waterhouse
View from Waterhouse

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Hackney has a carnival

Sunday, 8 September, 2019

I haven’t been able to find out how many years it’s been going but there has been some sort of small local carnival in the area since the early 70s. The larger Hackney One Carnival wasn’t much when I first arrived in Hackney. I remember a small parade that would travel along from the town hall to Amhurst Road, move down Pembury Road and land at Hackney Downs, where there would be several stalls set up. Up in Ridley Road market there was more to see – more music, more food.

But it’s grown. Now the route is longer and there are many performers. Now there are satellite areas all over, with several sound stages, impromptu and planned.

When I woke up and began preparing for the day, things seemed to kick into gear early. I could hear a persistent voice saying something like ‘Get off the bike or we will call the police.’ At first puzzled, I then realised that someone must have been on a public-use bike that shouldn’t be riding it. I had no idea these bikes could talk.

My Hackney morning had begun.

I was really surprised when Krish said he’d come with me to the parade. He’s not good with such events. However, we set off together past the barriers that closed off traffic and towards the town hall. I didn’t have a lot of time but I wanted to see something of the parade – being short, and with more than 60,000 people expected, I wasn’t anticipating much joy with that – then check out Bohemia Place market, travel along the Narrow Way, behind St Augustine’s Tower to the churchyards, the bicycle path, and on to St John’s of Hackney – two hours, I thought.

Roads were closed to traffic
Roads were closed to traffic
Rushing to be in the parade
Rushing to be in the parade
This is Hackney!
This is Hackney!
Glitter for sale
Glitter for sale
The crowd gathering
The crowd was gathering. I wasn’t sure I would be able to see a thing
Although there was a lot of police presence, they seemed relaxed and in the moment
Although there was a lot of police presence, they seemed relaxed and in the moment
Anticipation
Anticipation

Not surprisingly, Krish lasted less than ten minutes. That’s OK. My camera and I had plans.

And also not surprisingly, although the parade made lots of noise, I couldn’t see a thing. And I was short on time so I set off towards Bohemia Place. It wasn’t very busy. There were some stalls, a bunch selling food – mostly vegan as always – and a DJ on a sound stage.

Police and citizens mingling
Police and citizens mingling
Amidst all the fun, a reminder that Hackney needs to be knife-free
Amidst all the fun, a reminder that Hackney needs to be knife-free
Wandering into Bohemia Place
Wandering into Bohemia Place
Having fun in Bohemia Park
Having fun in Bohemia Place

The Narrow Way was pretty busy. I had a rare jaunt into the McDonalds, which was less not more busy than usual. A mini chicken wrap and mini ice cream and I was good for another hour or two.

The pedestrianised Narrow Way was busier than usual
The pedestrianised Narrow Way was busier than usual
Musicians
Musicians

There were two bands on the street with a good crowd for each.


I walked over to the churchyard past the tower. I found a children’s area inside what I call the Hackney Secret Garden and, to the side, a large sound stage was set up. I’d managed to catch the band between set and listened to the singer try to liven up the audience. This was strangely hard to do, considering the occasion, but I always have fun listening to the local hip hop accent.

It's all about the food
It’s all about the food

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Superclubbing! The Nyonya Supper Club

9 August, 2019

I haven’t been to a supper club for years!

I’ve been reading a blog called The Boy Who Ate the World for about ten years. I can’t even remember how I came across it.  The blogger is Guan Chua. He was born in Kuala Lumpur and lives in London, in the Whitechapel area. Guan used to be a financial analyst but then trained as a Cordon Bleu chef. He loves to travel and write about his foodie treks but best of all he loves to cook the Malaysian-Nyonya cuisine of his childhood.

Guan was a contestant on Nigella Lawson’s ‘The Taste,’ where he fulfilled his dream of being mentored by Anthony Bourdain. He didn’t win but I enjoyed his time on the show a lot. I knew he ran a supper club – better still, it was in the Whitechapel area! – but Krish isn’t keen on Malaysian food and I wasn’t keen to go alone, and spend the money! Instead I would just read Guan’s Instagram and think about the food. Emails would come in announcing a new supper club but typically I’d be too late to get a place, they’re snapped up so quickly.

One day a couple of months ago an email came in as I was sitting doing something else so I emailed back immediately – any date in August, please! This time I made it. I was going!

The night of the supper club, just as I was about to leave, a ridiculously unexpected and fierce rain and wind storm sprung up. I had to wait for it to pass, then saw that the next bus would be quite a while. I jumped on the next bus that took me anywhere close and we trundled along oh so slowly in the rainy, slow moving traffic. I found a bus stop for another bus to complete my journey and had quite a long wait again. By the time I reached Aldgate East station, I had only a few seconds to get there.

But I got lost! Dinner was feeling far far away. A few calls to Guan and I finally made it to his apartment block and into his small flat in the new complex I’d walked by so many times. I was at least 20 mins late but Guan greeted me with a lovely gin and tonic. I felt quite ready for it. I’d not had time to buy any drink for the table, as planned.

There were ten of us sitting down in the dining space in the open plan living room/kitchen. I was probably 30 years older than the oldest of them. These twenty and thirty somethings were chatting back and forth about their travels around Asia, and the food they’d found there. I felt quite overwhelmed with it. How had they travelled so much? What was going on? Somehow the world was leaving me behind, so I listened politely and waited for food. Definitely worth the wait!

The menu
The menu
Sambal Crab Bites - but I'm allergic to crab so didn't get the taste them
Sambal Crab Bites – but I’m allergic to crab so didn’t get to taste them
Guan had kindly made me my own crabless Sambal bites - Yum!
Guan had kindly made me my own crabless Sambal bites – Yum! (Although I lost my two temporary fillings crunching them up!)

This noodle dish was my favourite!
This cold noodle dish was my favourite! Kerabu Glass Noodles with crayfish and Nyonya Herbs. So fresh and mouthwatering. I want this recipe!
Lemongrass and Belachan chicken wings
Lemongrass and Belachan chicken wings.

Drunken prawns
Drunken prawns. I wimped out and didn’t eat the heads

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