July, 2018Â various dates
I introduced you to my friend Julie not so long ago. Follow this – I have a friend Alistair, who I met back in the heady Usenet days. We became friends in real life. Through him, I met his mum, Juliet – she also became my friend. And then I met his wife, Julie – she’s from Montreal and lives in Suffolk so I don’t see her very often. Now, Juliet has recently had some health problems and was in and out of the hospital for a while so I messaged Al to ask how she was.
He responded saying that he was more worried about Julie than he was his mum. Julie’s son from a previous marriage had suddenly died. My heart really sank. Julie and I had chatted about her son, Olly, during her last visit. I was surprised to hear that he had similar mental health issues as (my son) Robin – both in their thirties. That Olly had died just hit me as if it had happened to me. I know better than anyone how difficult it is worrying about a child (no matter how old) when things are tough for them.
We got a bit of the lowdown from Al, when he came to visit a week or so later. To be honest, the story upset me enough that I won’t repeat it. I will say that Olly had had physical issues and that Al was the person to find him when Julie couldn’t reach him by phone. Tragic.
Krish’s birthday was on 10 July. It was also the day of Olly’s funeral. Krish let me know that he would come with me to support Julie and I was grateful for that.
We left from London Bridge to Tunbridge Wells, about an hour Southeast of London.
It seems that Oliver had joined the Mormon church, where he was admired and had many friends. This really softened the story for me. I was happy to hear that he’d found acceptance and happiness with this group. It made for a rather sombre service, though. There was one very nice tradition. After the eulogies, we were invited to come up and sign the coffin with messages for Olly. I hadn’t met him so I didn’t do this but I found it touching.
After that service we left for the crematorium, where there was another service. What was nice was the beautiful gardens surrounding the crematorium, so Krish and I sat and enjoyed it for a while.
A rather predictable spread followed at the pub by the station and then it was home time!
I’d planned a birthday party for Krish and waited until his birthday to tell him about it. He was quite pleased. And then this very hot summer continued, making the preparations and shopping seem like crazy tasks!
Al and his son, James, came at first. They had been promised the football world cup final and so we sat and munched on snacks and tried not to sweat too much. Al left a little before James and, as James was leaving, Krish’s friend Mark arrived, followed an hour later by another friend, Rosie. And more snacks. The party had started at 3pm and we were finally done at 10pm. It all worked out very well! I hope the next party is in cooler weather!
