23 January 2025
This entry is a bit messy but was written the day I had one of the worst chemo days. I’ve decided just to post it with little editing since I think it shows my state of mind.
Today was a bit disastrous or let’s make that disappointing. In the morning we got ready for the WheelTrans ride. It was arriving at 8:15. At 8:10 I went to sit on the balcony I noticed a Back Taxi sitting there. After a couple of minutes the driver called to me sayingm are you for WheelTrans. I said yes and he asked if I had anyone coming with me and again I said yes. Is he ready? I shouldn’t be parked here. It was 8:13 and I reassured him Krish would be right out. And off we went. I was not expecting a taxi but a bus. The driver said it was TTC’s call on what you get. We arrived at around 8:45. I didn’t mind since I had time now to talk to the nurse about my IVs. But when I went to see her she shooed me away, saying blood work first. I did manage to get in a little early for that. I mentioned my concerns to her and she agreed to using the area of my arm that seems okay. She also said she thought the IV could be used all day by everyone. Yay. Out in the waiting room they sent me see the nurse. I had a little time before my bone scan injection. The nurse, Tess, thought there was a possibility I’d had an allergic reaction to the tapes, and she may very well be right. She redid the taping by wrapping gauze around the catheter and using copious amounts of paper tape. It felt comfortable, slightly tight but OK and much, much better. Off to the nuclear medicine Department. The lady I spoke to there – I suppose a technologist – was very nice. She was pleased to be able to use the IV line already there and gave me the injection. Yes, the test really did take about an hour and they would be right behind the window looking in on me and making sure I was okay. No, they could not chat to me. She sent me away saying I needed to be back at 1pm and I told her my treatment was the deciding factor on when I could arrive. I sat in the waiting room for a while wondering what was happening, then finally went up to the window and said I need to be told as they were waiting for me at Pod E.
I don’t know how much time was wasted, perhaps 20 to 30 minutes? But they got started pretty quickly. Apparently, my potassium was still low after 2 weeks of supplements and that big bag of potassium on the first day of treatment. So I needed another one and another prescription. Damn. I had been taking the potassium every day as well as eating one banana and recently white beans and orange slices and even diluted orange juice. What is going on? I noted on my blood test paper about six highlighted items, including neutrophils and hemoglobin. Sigh. But we got started. Potassium was going to run throughout and here we go with the pre-meds. Lily came by to warn me when the Benadryl was starting, because I told her how much it had affected me the week before. I wasn’t doing too badly, since I expected this heavy drowsiness now, but all that liquid meant I needed to pee often. The first time Krish took me, then the second time he was sleeping, so I went alone. Mistake. I was so woozy and it scared me. I barely made it to the toilet, was glad I was wearing a pad although it was now soaked. I honestly don’t know how I didn’t pull the help cord. But I stood up with my head swimming, my legs buckling. And my heart hammering so quickly I was afraid I wouldn’t make it to the door. I got over to the nurses’ station, mercifully close to the toilet and told them, my heart is racing. They helped me over to my chair and suddenly four nurses surrounded me. Taking my temperature, putting the oxygen clip on my finger, taking my blood pressure and pulse and saying it was climbing. My heart apparently was fluctuating. I’m going to die, I thought. (“Cardiac” kept being said – what??? Argh)Â Â Obviously, I did not die, but all I could think was what a drag this was happening. I had still put off changing my will! They took me over to a bed to get an ECG and it was pretty fast. And they took my blood pressure yet again. Both seemed okay. Could I make it to the Bone scan? I was already late and making it there meant missing a CT scan, a shorter procedure booked for 3pm., only 40 minutes away. So I decided it would be better to rest a bit longer, cancel the bone scan and go for the CT. Best laid plans. We took an Uber home and I went straight to bed. Feeling better now, but somewhat exhausted, yes, disappointed. How much of the Taxol did I get and how much has this set me back? Apparently the doctor had decided not to challenge me with the rest of the chemo that day, and to adjust it the next time. I suppose my questions can wait till then. I am hoping my bone scan can be done on a non-treatment day. Memo to John later- I feel scared about what happened today. It makes it a little tough to think about sleeping but I know I must. I confess to thinking about Liz and what you went through that day. I am determined not to let that happen to you again. I’m not Liz of course but i did think of her and hoped she was there to protect and not beckon me. Love to you, John*
Herceptin is known to affect the heart. I have tests every three months to make sure there is no damage. They say it’s usually reversible. I am waiting for a new test now (2 Jan 2026 as I write this) and am a month overdue. Letrozole, the hormone-blocking drug I will be taking daily for the next five years, also affects the heart – it increases blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Radiation is also known to damage the lungs and the heart (particularly when it’s targeted to the left breast.. I don’t like the test, especially since it’s on a high floor reached by an elevator that stops on every floor at Mt Sinai Hospital, Toronto – have I ever talked about my fear of elevators? – but I’m hoping they contact me soon before my fear causes palpitations! Neurotic, moi?
Index of all my Breast Cancer Journey Posts
*My brother, John, was visiting his wife Liz who was in hospital. The details are his to tell but this was after a long set of illnesses and events. Short story then. He went in see her after a night’s sleep, she told him she felt unwell and began to worry him with directives. Then she died. I miss her.