Posted on by Janice

COVID – Restlessness and Lethargy

Thursday, 8th April, 2021

I think about my blog every day. I think about writing for it every day. A day becomes a week becomes a month. I’m at once restless and lethargic, and how do I come to terms with that?

I’m not exactly sure.

My mother always told me, Janice, you think too much. She was right. What I think most about is other people. Who are they? What are they doing? Why don’t I know them? Where do they live? What do they eat? What are their lives when they are not in front of me, inside my head? Yes, all of that and more.

The short version of the story is I’m not getting out much and I’m not seeing that many people. Lockdowns combined with a deteriorating knee keep me indoors and away from things I normally love to do. I try to think about people who have written whole books while being (what I consider) prisoners of home and even bed. My hat’s off to them. Yes, the stories are still in my head but I lack the motivation. I’ve heard that inspiration is something being taken in, and motivation is about movement – a driving force.  Motivation is more closely connected to external stimuli, while inspiration is based on the internal stimuli. I’d say that right now I do feel inspired, but not really motivated. So if I’m not getting out that much, external stimuli are dampened, and the thoughts stay inside my head. So let’s get them out a bit.

I say I haven’t been out much, but I’m blessed by living in an area that is infinitely walkable (even now, and even though that might be limited) and infinitely fascinating. Those who feel at one with nature have a hard time understanding that. In nature I understand the peace and beauty, but as large as the vista might be, it’s harder for me to examine. Where are the people? Maybe I don’t want to face the person who is there – me. Hmm.

Right now ‘me’ is a person who can barely walk. My knee has given up and more than a few minutes on it becomes unbearably painful. Except I do bear it, and don’t want to. I’m doing my best. If I don’t try, then I’m missing out on so many things. Throughout the pandemic, I’ve managed what I could. Now my radius is shrinking and I’ll still do what I can. So let’s look at what I’ve managed to do and think positive and look ahead.

Not in order but a smattering of life chez moi at the moment.

Poetto
We are still mourning the loss of a favourite haunt, Poetto – a nice pizza and pasta with friendly service. Gone a few months before lockdown. Maybe it was a blessing for them.

Dragon guarding Upper Clapton Road
Krish noticed a dragon standing over a building – now building supplies but we’d love to know what it was before. I’ll keep researching!
Tram Depot
There was apparently a tram depot in Clapton and this is the yard. Nowadays it’s a collection of rental studios for film and photography called Hackney Studios. Notice the ghost sign, centre right.
Tram Store
After the tram depot, we visited Tram Shop. You can normally have a meal here, but right now it’s a general store. We found a few things to buy, none were food.
On the way to The Dusty Knuckle
I wanted to buy something at the Dusty Knuckle in Dalston. By the time I made it there (damn you, bad knee) the shelves were bare. Absolutely everything had sold out. This is the alley leading down to the bakery yard.

Stik in the Curve Garden
I hadn’t been in the Curve Garden for months! It was looking very green and wasn’t too busy. So Melodie and I sat by the Stik wallart and Melodie, who used to be his landlady, sent him texts, unanswered. I’m still a groupie, it seems.
Five King Edwards Road
When Krish had his vaccination, we made time to visit Fremont Street, home of my great grandmother and father, and where my maternal grandmother was born. Along the way we saw Five King Edwards Road, once a women’s fashion factory, now fancy flats.
Some elegant stonework.
We think this grand facade was likely the offices for the factory. Such elegant stonework.
Fremont Street

6 Fremont Street

6 Fremont Street. My maternal great grandparents lived here. It seems strange that I am now only 1km away from an ancestral home. Strange but fitting.
Nan and her mum
My maternal great grandmother, Phoebe, with my maternal grandmother, Charlotte (looking incredibly like my mum)

Tesco

Tesco Morning Lane. In just one year the world has changed. Shopping is a new experience and sometimes it feels like it was always like this, especially when I see people looking like they are used to it.

Knitting
I have always been a bad needleworker, but I enjoy creating things, watching them take shape. I made these ‘postwoman’s gloves’ from a simple pattern and decorated them. I’ve now made a third pair in light orange.
Stik at Homerton
I went for an XRay on my knee and made sure I stayed a while in front of the Stik mural in one of the courtyards. 
Daylight Savings Time
On 28 March the clocks went forward in the UK. The evenings are longer. The trees on Sandringham Avenue will soon be in leaf, and the skies will stay lighter.

Traffic
Low Traffic Neighbourhoods have taken cars away from some smaller streets and forced them to the larger streets, like mine. Every day starting around 3pm the parade of cars begins, ending almost four hours later.


Street art at King Edwards Road
Hackney Central is almost devoid of street art. Then at King Edwards Road, close to Mare Street Market, there is a lovely display of colourful art.

Water trough on Mare Street near Westgate Street
A water trough on Mare Street near Westgate Street is now a planter. The Metropolitan Drinking Fountain and Cattle Trough Association was an association set up in London by Samuel Gurney, a Member of Parliament, and philanthropist and Edward Thomas Wakefield, a barrister, in 1859 to provide free drinking water.
Mare Street Market
At Mare Street Market only the delicatessen is open. It brought a burst of colour on a grey day
At the delicatessen in Mare Street Market
At the delicatessen in Mare Street Market, the tables for coffee are gone and instead there are specialty groceriy items. I couldn’t resist the blue corn tortillas but could easily pass by the overpackaged Cackle Bean eggs below

Lockdown cooking continues and I’ve managed to make a few new things over the weeks. Some of them will stay on the menu, while others were a fun experiment but not worth it.

Cassoulet
A quick cassoulet made with Toulouse sausages. I’ve made this twice now so this will likely stay.
Kebabs
I tried my hand at Seekh kebabs, one of Krish’s favourite Whitechapel foods. They were OK but I’d need to change a few things to keep these around.
Chicken with preserved lemons and olives
I’ve made this Moroccan chicken with preserved lemons and olives several times now. It’s become a favourite
Old favourite - burrata
Some old favourites stay firmly in the rotation. Burrata with basil and tomatoes

There are reasons to feel discouraged these days. My stomach is chronically upset and I don’t know why. Thinking about the reasons isn’t pleasant so I’m having tests early next month. I’m so not looking forward to that, but it has to be done. Then my knee has kept me indoors far too much. Even there, I’m not pain-free. Walking or standing about indoors can be just as uncomfortable and worrying. My XRay showed that I now have severe arthritis and that’s the reason I cant bear any weight.  I’m waiting to see what can be done about this –  for now I’m walking with one crutch outside and hobbling around inside – it feels like I’ve been waiting a long time.

So back to inspiration. This morning out of my window, I saw something that made me look deep within myself. A man, walking with two crutches, very slowly made his way across the road towards me. The traffic stopped and waited patiently, then a cyclist on the pavement stopped too, as if in deference, even after the man was behind him – he stayed for a while, just looking. The man continued walking determinedly. I felt humble.