Sharon and Mohan’s wedding – The wedding day

Friday, 21st June 2019

Finally the wedding day arrived.  It felt a bit unreal. Krish and Rana were supposed to arrive early at the temple to help Moh so we all got dressed and set off. Only we went to the wrong temple – Krish had directed us to the Vishnu Mandir, where his family attended, but the wedding was taking place closer to home in Markham. We had to backtrack and, when we arrived in the parking lot of the Vedic Cultural Centre, Moh called us over to the car he was sitting in. We were late! It was fine, though – plenty of time before everything started.

Rana and Krish - all decked out!
Rana and Krish in the parking lot – best buddies all decked out!

My wedding outfit choice gave me a ton of headaches before it actually happened. It was the only day of the week that Indian attire was requested and, although I considered ignoring this, I also felt it was a good idea to do my best and at least find clothes that would ‘work.’ I searched and searched and it wasn’t as easy as I thought…always something that stopped me from buying. Finally I decided that I’d have to have something made and the best choice was a top and a skirt and shawl. Choli, lehenga, and dupatta! I wanted bright colours – lime green and fuschia came to mind. What I finally settled on was a long readymade skirt that was on sale in one fabric store – a dusty pink with gold brocade, a top that I had made – fuschia with gold and pink trim since I wouldn’t be wearing a necklace, and a pretty light pink and gold net shawl to pull the two together. I’d also bought some pale pink with rhinestone sandals in London. Ruth lent me a gold clutch bag and earrings and then Naomi offered me some with more bling so I went to it. I felt ridiculous when I saw it on the hangers ready to go but on the day it pulled together amazingly well.

My wedding outfit
My wedding outfit

There was the usual astounding amount of bling among the wedding guests. Meet and greet in the foyer! Downstairs there were snacks- the wedding would be long – samosas and something I forget now, or maybe the ‘something’ wasn’t there any more.

Quite honestly, I’m not sure of the order of events – the order for me, anyway. The wedding program spells it out but somehow it’s blurred for me – a good lesson in blogging promptly! Krish had disappeared and I was on my own. We’d seen from the program he had a big part to play in the ceremony, backstage and on. I’d not really counted on losing sight of him completely. Strange feeling to be in an unknown environment with so many people and not have a clue what to do next. When in doubt, just copy everyone else! So I parked my shoes in a locker and waited.

Everyone rushed outside and the sound of the tassa drums started up. I couldn’t see too well from where I was but there was a procession with Moh, Krish, Gopaul, Rana, and Tulsi in the centre of it and then after that they were gone again. Now it all gets blurry but at some point we went into the temple. Someone grabbed me and sent me to a seat but I couldn’t see much from there. What I could see was a very brightly decorated stage.

Down the aisle came Sharon dressed in a beautiful bright yellow gown. Her close and extended family came with her, dancing as they went. I need to get a better photo of the gown from someone – it was stunning. Up on the stage she went, with Krish and Gopaul at the side. There was a long puja with music and chanting. I had a terrible view, blocked by a large column and I slowly made my way to the side, around the back of the seats and down to a seat on the other side about three rows back. Much better. Then Sharon was gone.

As far as I remember, at this point I saw Moh’s family start to file out of the temple so I edged my way over to join them – my big chance! We waited out in the foyer until Moh appeared, with more drumming and then it was Moh’s turn to come down the aisle. I’m not that much of an extrovert to be in the spotlight and dancing but I had a feeling that this procession was one I was meant to part of. I was right! Back in the front of the temple I got my seat with the closer family, who were saying ‘Where were you? We wondered where you were.’ That was a  nice feeling but curious at the same time. I’m yet to feel completely included and I suppose that’s normal when this family is so huge, and so culturally different

Now Moh went up on stage with Krish, Gopaul, Rana, Tulsi and Karna attending him. The puja began. The pundit was especially pleased to tell the congregation that the brothers were special and auspicious, having three names of Vishnu.

Moh, contemplative
Moh, contemplative

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Sharon and Mohan’s wedding – Maticoor Night

Thursday, 20 June, 2019

Maticoor is a new word for me. Everything I’ve read refers to women – “Maticoor night is for ladies to get away.” It talks about drumming and dancing and letting your hair down, as well as the elaborate ceremony. However, it seems that the bride and the groom can each have their own Maticoor night and tonight was the night for Moh’s family to gather in his family home to perform the puja, while over at Sharon’s the same was happening with her family.

From the Sanskrit ‘Matti’ means earth and ‘kor’ means digging. I’ll copy the whole explanation at the end of the post so read it, if you want.

In the morning, the tablecloth steaming continued, followed by me assembling wedding programs as I watched several episodes of Bewitched!

When we arrived at the Maticoor, there were drummers at the entrance of the home. They played loudly and for a long time. This is called tassa drumming and it started again after the puja and again at the wedding, then once again at the reception where the bride’s drummers and groom’s drummers joined together. I dodged them a bit – drumming and tinnitus don’t mix too well – but I loved the energy of it.

There was the usual large gathering of Krish’s family inside the house. The puja would take place in a tent in the back garden. It was pouring with rain!

The pundit ties the raksha sutra around Moh's wrist
The pundit ties the raksha sutra around Moh’s wrist
Protective thread or raksha sutra
Protective thread or raksha sutra

Women and girls feature heavily in the ceremony. Moh sat with his mother and an aunt also stood by to help. The pundit also had a woman helping him with the various items that were brought and taken away. The prayers and chanting were quite melodic, each verse ending in Swaha which means ‘Well said’ so similar to amen. So many things were coming and going, Moh or Karna handling them and seeming to be well instructed in what to do. I’m sure I’d forget! At some point some young girls (four, although they asked for five) came onto the stage area but I can’t quite remember what they did. As well, most of us sitting watching were also female, with just a few men here and there. This all remains a bit mysterious so I need to find out more! My take on it is that Moh was being blessed and purified for his wedding.

Krish and Moh's mother sits with Moh inside the tent for the puja
Krish and Moh’s mother sits with Moh inside the tent for the puja

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